Wednesday, February 11, 2009

2009 Forecast: 70% Chance of a Fall From Grace

If 2008's Panthers motto was "Believe in NOW!", 2009's should be "HUNKER DOWN PANTHERS!!!"

Not only are we losing an all-pro defensive end and maybe our anchor left tackle, but even other things just don't get easier for us.

"Why?" you ask? Well, let's take a look at who we're playing

NY Giants (12-4)
Atlanta x2 (11-5)
Miami (11-5)
New England (11-5)
Minnesota (10-6)
Philadelphia (9-6-1)
Arizona (9-7)
Dallas (9-7)
NY Jets (9-7)
Tampa Bay x2 (9-7)
New Orleans x2 (8-8)
Washington (8-8)
Buffalo (7-9)

I really hate the scheduling system they use sometimes. How the fuck did this happen? The worst team we face is Buffalo, which is pretty much average. ...yea. This fucking sucks. What kind of crack rock are they smoking to put us up against pretty much every playoff team and teams that probably would've been champs in other divisions?

Lets now gaze into my crystal ball and see what the future has in store...

Okay, lets start with the division. I'm gonna go with a lukewarm 3-3 here. Why? The Bucs are prime for a free fall. Every year their defense gets older and older, they're bound for another plunge, especially with a Head Coach who was a fucking defensive backs assistant 2 months ago. The Saints, well, we seem to match up well with them, but I'm gonna say we split here. Atlanta will probably sweep us if Matt Ryan can avoid the sophomore slump.

NFC East, yea, it gets way worse here. Lets see, we can't beat Dallas, we can't beat Philly, we used to be able to handle the Giants but that changed recently. We'll probably go 1-3 here with the sole win a slugfest with Washington that we barely eek out of on top. I hate this fucking division.

Intraconference. Okay, lets see, Minnesota always beats our ass so we can forget about winning that one. And Arizona, well, hopefully our NFC West game is at like week 15, because by that time, Arizona will be known as one of the worst teams in the NFL like the other 3 NFC West teams that end up drafting in the top ten every year, or they will have the division already wrapped up and by then resting their starters. NFL's going to probably schedule this game late in the season. We'll probably get our revenge.

And the AFC East. Hmmmm, Brady's return to NE. Loss. We've never beaten Miami, and Parcells has our number and he's an exec there. That's a loss. We'll beat Buffalo and the Jets though to go .500 against the other conference for the year.

All that equates to....7-9!!! Yay!!! Not good enough to make the playoffs, not bad enough to realize the weak links on the team and properly take care of them. And if half the team gets injured, Foxy fans can declare this year a mulligan that won't count against Fox's record, just like 2007 didn't count and 2006 and 2004 didn't count. Also, considering the schedule, they'll probably even consider this season a success because we didn't go 1-15. YAY! No 1-15!!! That's better than winning the division or going to the superbowl!!! Not going 1-15 is the pinnacle of he NFL baby!!!

-----Some Panther fans will see the silver lining in ANY cloud.

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