Random Panther Ramblings: Kevin Greene, WCW Superstar

In absence of new developments, I'd like to give you a little treat anyway to pass the time. Only update out of Charlotte is that the Panthers have found some position coaches and the names won't be released until the contracts are finalized, which should be within the next two days. But without further adoo, let's segue to the topic of this blog, a look into the vault of Panthers history and the awkward growing pains of having to go through a homicidal receiver, dumb, naive trades that, by extension, probably contributed to the 1-15 disaster that was the 2001 season, and lastly, a football player who chooses WRASSLIN' over his team.

I admit, I used to watch wrestling when I was a picciriddu (that's Sicilian for "little one"). I mean who didn't at a young age? It's fun and exciting when you don't realize it's all fake and you think when the guy stomps on the ring mat while "punching" the other guy, that he actually made that sound with his fist and that guy's face, and idolizing men wearing tight day glo spandex is completely normal for a kid. Anyway, my father has a shit ton of old WCW tapes, ya know, when "Hotlanta" was known more for their wrestling culture than the shitty dirty south rap it's known for today ('cept for a select few, like T.I., Luda, others I can't think of right now). So one day I pop one in, looking for something to tape over with Life On Mars (Michael Imperioli and Harvey Keitel are an entertaining pair) when I see this shit...
...yea. I don't know what that's all about. Oh btw that guy he's, ...I guess, trying to shove his cock into, is Steve McMichael, who played on the '85 bears defense as a defensive tackle. This was the spring after the Panthers went 12-4 and made it to the conference championship, so they were the talk of the town. It was so surreal to me because, he even came out to that old Panthers fight song, you know, that "...nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina..." shit. But that wasn't the only funny part.

Then you had Ric Flair come out wearing the Kevin Greene jersey and going fucking postal all over the place like his usual self. Needless to say, I didn't tape over this gem of a video cassette. Instead I kept it and taped over that shitfest somebody called "Slamboree". This motivated me to check up on the old WWE by the way, and I watched Randy Orton get his ass kicked by Vince McMahon's fat slob of a son who was throwing fists like a 4th grader. I quickly changed the channel.

Anyway, back to Kevin. Up to that point he had played only one season in Carolina, and of course, the organization wasn't too happy with him putting his body on the line for a completely different "sport". Which is reasonable, I mean you pay him millions of dollars, and he's going to risk an ACL tear or a dislocated shoulder while trying to give Rowdy Roddy Piper a fucking leg drop? Get outta here.

...and Kevin Greene did. To San Francisco. Played with them for a year, then EVERY NFL team told him he couldn't wrestle if they signed him. He went back to Carolina and retired a Panther.

Mind you, this was during the organization's infancy, and as a new franchise, we weren't held in high regard at all. Some could argue only 12 years later, we still aren't, but we've improved over time. This was in the same era that Kerry Collins was disgruntled about being drafted a Panther, years later admitting "uh I wanted to be a part of a real established team and I ended up wearing this funny looking uniform". Well fuck you Kerry. Most of us fans were disgruntled about having a goofy fucking QB who fumbled just about every 8 fucking plays, but we didn't say anything rash. I think we would've been better off putting Timer the Cheese Guy in under fucking center.

When looking at some of the dumb shit this organization pulled in the early years, it's no wonder we hit rock bottom when we did. And as much crap I give John Fox sometimes, he and Marty at least brought some stability to this organization, some foundation to build upon when the inevitable retirement/firing/etc happens, and, oh yea, playoff berths. The Sean Gilbert trade set us back horribly, don't even get me started on Jeff Lewis, and when we actually weren't trading first round picks away we were wasting them on massive busts like Jason Peter and the notorious Rae Carruth.

Oh yea and to wrap this up Kevin Greene is now a linebackers coach for the Fudge Packers. LOL.