The Brick City Panther

Cock Shit Fuck

2009-11-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

...if you are a Panthers fan, chances are those were just a few of the many expletives you hurled at your flat screen today, as the Panthers once again fall asleep on the couch while opportunity knocks on the door.

John Fox proves once again he should not be coaching a football team anymore, and Jake Delhomme doesn't make his case to QB a football team any better.

Ok, was it against a top 3 team in the entire league? Yes it was, but tell me how you explain outscoring the opponent 17-3 in the first half only to be outscored 27-3 in the second half, without it involving the words "John" "Fox" and "Sucks ass". It may be damn near impossible.

It's so frustrating that, in the midst of rushing to pump out another vapid writeup, the sports writers at the observer misspelled a word in the title of this article. I honestly don't know why the fuck they try anymore.

most of it is just recap filler anyway, so lets take it straight to the comments part.

Jake, worst QB in the league. Not only you cant throw, but you can take snaps or hand the ball off correctly either. 1 yard line and messed up a TD

And he still is our starter. I am so glad Fox wont be here next year. His contract is up next year and its a great feeling

...yes I agree he is either ineffective or he is absolutely fucking terrible in each and every single game.

Here we go again. Up in 1st quarter, play it safe the rest of the game.

Jake gets to pad his stats in the last few minutes of the 4th quarter so Fox can say that Jake didn't have a bad game. Really? Jake had a bad game because until the 4th quarter we were scared to throw it. We can't run every single play!

Too bad our dummy HC can't figure out you need a passing game as well to win these days. This isn't your daddy's good ol' football game anymore Foxy. Teams can't just run to fucking daylight every day and expect to win a championship or win consistently.

Can we sell these guys to someone dumb enough to waste the money on them? Or perhaps shoot them, or throw them off of a cliff... anything entertaining to make up for 138 MILLION wasted dollars on these losers.

A) don't blame them you should blame the rhesus monkey we have posing as a GM that happens to be named Marty Hurney, and

B) some of them actually play inspiring week in and week out. Okay, well, maybe, halfway inspiring.

If you noticed after the game, I was talking to the Saint. Thats where Im headed!

what the fuck does this even mean

Fuck you delhomme haters are pathetic. Blame Deangelo Williams for fumbling at his own two or dropping two (one easy) touchdown pass. If two of those three don't happen WE WIN.

god we cannot put any responsibility of a loss on this guy's shoulders without some fucking cunt half wit logging on to diligently construct a shitty sequence of a few sentences so they can blame everybody else because in their eyes, Jake can't do a single fucking thing wrong and it is always somebody else that lets us down instead of him

that's pretty much all I have the stomach for. A lot of these comments make me ashamed to share love for the same team as some of these yammering ninnies. Most of our fans don't know the first fucking thing about football nor can they type a sentence with less than 20 spelling or grammatical errors.

So we have a crap team, led by a crap HC, built by a crap GM, which serves a crap fanbase (there are exceptions)

what a fucking mess

Panthers' Fell for Delhomme's Charm, Hook, Line, and Stinker

2009-09-13T14:27:00.001-07:00

I fucking told you guys.

I knew this was going to happen

I just didn't think it was going to happen this early.

So maybe I thought for now the Eagles would've kept him under 200 yards passing, he might have broke even at TDs and INTs with one apiece, but no.

4 interceptions, one fumble. Five turnovers.

And if you're one who's keeping score since the playoff game, that's 11 total turnovers.

But wait a minute....

Isn't this the guy we gave a nice fat 42 million dollar contract to back in April? Isn't this the guy who shows all the intangibles and savvy that only the most clutch QBs can display when the heat is on?

Oh no wait a minute it's the guy I said was getting older and declining, my bad. Somehow for a minute there i almost got caught up in a Panther fan eternal optimism circle jerk fest.

He played so fucking bad, JOHN FOX benched him. No, that is not a typo. John Fox benched Jake Delhomme. This is that same player Fox really wanted to come back, even after the Arizona meltdown. This is the same guy Marty Hurney gladly handed over the keys for, at a maximum, 5 years more, and made him at least 25 million dollars richer. Hmmm, at least it's a good pension for him in case he's shamed so much he decides to retire by week 3.

Once again he exceeds my expectations of him failing by getting benched in the third quarter, of the first game. Not week 8, not week 12, not week 4. No, the first fucking game of the regular season. And the funniest part is John Fox will start him against Atlanta next week. So at what point does Jake start throwing for negative yardage and double digit interceptions?

It's another Delhomme meltdown, and i can't even get on the fucking Carolinahuddle. That website just shit it's intestines out again over this. My forecast is that it will happen much more this season, after the awful display we saw.

So lets check the blogs and newsreels...

From the Observer...

Quarterback Jake Delhomme picked up right where he left off against the Cardinals, throwing four interceptions and fumbling once before coach John Fox mercifully pulled him from the game with 4 minutes, 24 seconds left in the third quarter.

Josh McCown replaced Delhomme, but went down hard on a sack early in the fourth period and hobbled off the field with a knee injury as No. 3 quarterback Matt Moore took over.

Yea, Jake may be increasingly erratic, but his underlings are no better, possibly worse. See this is what happens when you don't try to solidify the QB position. McCown is awful himself and I don't see any future in Matt Moore unless it involves bussing tables. He will get plenty of playing time this season, and it will show that he is not an NFL QB. Our future QB is not on the roster, so you know what that means, it's going to be a lousy 2009 season, full of excuses, cop outs and more excuses. So in other words it's just like any of the losing seasons we've had under Fox.

From the Herald...

Backup QB Josh McCown is warming up on the sidelines, making it appear Jake Delhomme's day is over.

This one's not quite as bad as the playoff loss for Delhomme, but it's close.

He's 7-for-17 for 73 yards, four interceptions and a fumble. That's a 14.7 rating.

He got a stray late touchdown in the playoff game, and that's not happening today.

Going to be an interesting locker room.

Hmmm, Shitdick Darin hasn't eaten his words just yet. Remember his musing trying to talk down to the "Lunatic Fringe" as he put it, thinking he was a smart, grounded fan? Yea, I'll keep my eyes open just in case the Kool Aid man decides to go back on what he said.

Panthers the Perfect storm for Jake Delhomme?

2009-06-11T23:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I certainly seem to think so.

Case scenario, Delhomme finds himself a free agent. He's 34, he has big game experience, he's efficient in the 4th Quarter. But does that mean he'd automatically start on at least half the other teams? It is a myth among Panther fans, since Delhomme is truly overrated in Panther Nation.

With 31 other candidates, let's weed out the OBVIOUS eliminations...

New England (Tom Brady: 'nuff said)
Pittsburgh (Ben Roethlisberger: 2X SB winning QB)
Chicago (Jay Cutler: They just procured a prolific passer, like they would let him rot on the bench)
New Orleans (Drew Brees: Mr. 5000 passing yards)
Green Bay (Aaron Rodgers: 90+ QB rating)
Philadelphia (Donovan McNabb)
Indianapolis (Peyton Manning)
Atlanta (Matt Ryan)
Arizona (Kurt Warner: If they're looking for a long term future at QB, they're not going to replace a late 30s QB with a mid 30s QB. Delhomme would just be a stop gap)
New York Giants: (Eli Manning: SB MVP QB)
Cincinnati (Carson Palmer)
Baltimore (Joe Flacco: Rookie threw for 60% and nearly 3000 yards in just his rookie season)
Kansas City (Matt Cassel is Pioli's boy)
Oakland (Jamarcus Russell and Jeff Garcia. No I don't think they would be interested)
Redskins (Jason Campbell: Delhomme wouldn't be much of an improvement, so not worth the risk of dropping a guy who has years left in his tank)
Cowboys (Tony Romo: It's the Romo show there)
Houston (Matt Schaub: one of the strongest elements on their team)
San Diego (Philip Rivers: Not going anywhere)

Ok so far that's 18 teams out of the way. 13 left.

Seattle
Tampa Bay
Cleveland
NY Jets
Buffalo
Miami
St Louis
Jacksonville
Tennessee
Denver
Detroit
Minnesota
San Francisco

Mmmkay, now out of all of those, lets drop the teams that use the West Coast offense. Jake is not a West Coast QB, and what fucking team in their right mind would start a newly acquired QB who is in his mid-30s and has only one playbook ingrained in his head? He just wouldn't be efficient as a WC QB, he needs a solid running game.

Minnesota
Seattle
Tampa Bay
St Louis

So who's left?

Cleveland
NY Jets
Jacksonville
Denver
Detroit
San Francisco
Buffalo
Tennessee
Miami

Time to nitpick

As far as Buffalo is concerned, Trent Edwards looks like their guy. Delhomme would only come in to back him up and Trent would have to suck in order to get benched. In Miami, you would think he would fit in, because Dan Henning runs the offense there and we now ole' Dan very well. However, the "veteran" role is filled with Chad Pennington, and Chad Henne is the future. The Dolphins braintrust also has declared Pennington the starter for the 2009 season. So he wouldn't just walk in and take the job. In Cleveland, Brady Quinn has been waiting in the wings for his opportunity to arrive, it's mainly between him and Derek Anderson. For Jacksonville, it could be a QB battle but Delhomme is not a clear favorite over David Garrard, a guy who knows the playbook in Jacksonville. Kerry Collins pretty much did the same thing Delhomme did so I don't know why they would bring 2 of the same type QBs for one to back up the other, by the time Collins' starting at QB ends Delhomme would probably be too old anyway.

Denver
Detroit
San Fran
NY Jets

These are pretty much the only teams he'd have a very good chance of starting right off the bat. 2 of them, NY and Detroit, just drafted QBs first round, however, most teams will bench their rookie QBs in favor of seasoned veterans while the young one digests the playbook and refines his game behind the curtains. San Francisco has a terrible QB situation. Alex Smith has pretty much proven himself a bust and there is no one head and shoulders above the rest of them to step up. And Denver, well, Kyle Orton is not exactly a gleaming vote of confidence anyway you look at it.

Quick review: Delhomme is pretty fucking lucky to have a team like the Panthers put up with the bullshit sometimes. He's a good QB for here but that doesn't mean he'll just walk into any team and tear shit up day one like people think. There are a lot of factors to take in, notice any of Jake's "real" competition against Denver, Detroit, and NY will also have been newcomers to the team (Orton, Stafford, Sanchez, respectively). As far as SF is concerned, their QB situation is just so atrocious. Any other team he walks in he'd have the disadvantage of not knowing the playbook as thoroughly as his competition.

DeAngelo Williams on Delhomme

2009-05-27T17:14:00.000-07:00

Stumbled across this post right here.

Running back DeAngelo Williams defended the organization's decision to give starting quarterback Jake Delhomme a five-year, $42.5 million contract extension this off-season.

"We love Jake," Williams said. "That’s our quarterback. Contrary to what fans believe, or those non-fans that call themselves fans, Jake’s a great quarterback. He knows this system inside out."

Well it's nonetheless an emotionally charged endorsement for Delhomme, but DeAngelo proves himself a class act here. Whether or not I'm a fan of paying a guy who didn't play like 42 million dollars last year by a longshot, Williams is just a teammate and a contributor. It's his obligation to have faith in Delhomme, otherwise, he'd be just another selfish Terrell Owens.

That said, Delhomme's far from a great quarterback, and he's been put on a golden throne by the Panthers' organization as some kind of demigod with Joe Everyman-level QB talent. So it will be up to Williams to score like 25 touchdowns and rush for 1800 yards, <------while splitting time with Jonathan Stewart who scores 15 in addition and 1200 more rushing yards, to be the breadwinners for the offense. Delhomme's just a QB who, considering all 17 games the Panthers played last year that mattered, averaged more interceptions than touchdowns, had a sub 60% completion percentage, and a 79.6 QB rating. <----not exactly glaring characteristics of a great QB.

"Every guy has a bad game at some point in his career," Williams said. "Unfortunately for him it happened that game. But he’s a great quarterback. It happened to us. I know I'm going to have a bad game one of these times and they’ll be calling after my head."

^DeAngelo, you're a running back. You actually do your job and are one of the best at what you do. You led the entire league in TDs IIRC last year. You are not the object of any kind of criticism and I remember for two years wishing John Fox would have a fucking epiphany out there on the sidelines during a game and give you more playing time because DeShaun "a feather could tackle me" Foster was like the RB version of Delhomme. So keep up the good work you're doing and kick some ass because if we make playoffs this year, I can guaran-damn-tee you will be a BIG reason why if you aren't injured.

Reality Check for Panthers fans (Re: Media "Respect" Level)

2009-05-20T21:42:00.000-07:00

It seems to me there's this common feeling in the Panthers fanbase that is entirely sold on the hypothesis that our success is contingent on how many minutes ESPN spends sucking our dick comparative to sucking the Cowboys or Steelers.

The metric they usually use for this is the "radar". Apparently if we are "under" the "radar", Delhomme will throw 3 touchdowns a game, John Fox will use his brains when he gameplans every week, DeAngelo Williams will get through the front seven every single running play, and the teams we face will forget we are on the schedule, causing for a very unprepared performance against us because they didn't know the Carolina Panthers existed prior to the day they played us, because they watched ESPN and Mike Tirico didn't mention us at all as a contender on MNF.

In contrast, if we are "on" the "radar", Jake Delhomme will turn into an unresponsive shell of himself and throw dead ducks and passes that are so inaccurate you are sitting on your couch ready to fair catch the fucking ball because it seemed for a second there it was going to you through the fucking TV screen. John Fox will forgo the weekly film sessions, instead flying to Nevada and soliciting transvestite prostitutes on the Las Vegas Strip. DeAngelo Williams will lose his sense of motivation and spend most of his time eating Kentucky Fried Chicken so he can balloon up and become King Kong Bundy fat. The teams we are facing will also know exactly what we are doing and when we are doing it, because Mike Tirico said "watch out for those Panthers they are going to be good this year".

Too many times I'm reading a Panther fan comment that is something along the lines of this...
"I liek teh fact that we ar undurr teh radar. becuz we play our best football wen teams don't know who we arrr. now taht teh media is disrispectin us we shud win the 13 gamez we arn't playing prime time."

"OMFG i cant beleev dat ESPN ranked us 16th in the power rankings that is such a spit in teh face! Now DeAngelo's gonna run harder cuz dey said his teem wouldn't doo good and muh Panthers ar gonna whip sum ass"

^It's crap like this that gets posted that makes me almost lose complete faith in the ability of our fanbase to become anything more than a group of people with retarded superstitions and these baseless intuitions that gained ground all the way back in 2003 when nobody was talking about us and that the idea that we started blazing trails was a direct result of our being "under" the "radar".

It's this fucking illusion that people have convinced themselves THE ONLY way this franchise can gain success is if Tony Kornheiser says we're not anything to worry about on PTI, or we have little or no nationally televised and/or primetime games to play on our schedule.

...as much as I despise some of Fox's quirks (there are a lot of them), I still harbor a lot of good vibes and optimism for the guy. I never would expect him to believe for one minute that we're a slave to the media attention level we get or how many primetime games we're playing. However, if he actually does, that's how I'll know there is absolutely no chance for him to coach the Panthers to a superbowl championship, because, every single playoff game is a primetime and/or nationally televised football matchup, where you are recognized as a good team and people see you're a serious football club. And that's when I've lost absolutely all hope for the coaching staff and not the least bit open-minded to the thought of a future with John Fox as the coach.

Return of the Kool Aid man.

2009-05-18T20:57:00.000-07:00

Stop the presses

Panthers resident Kool Aid man and beat writer Gantt has awakened from his slumber to offer another tall order of monkey crap and pro-Fox fluff.

What do you have to say?

First things first, I haven't been fired, or left for greener pastures (as if that's possible). Just took some time off, at a time when not much is happening. Of course, that came at the expense of turning into a contractor/landscaper for a week or so, but hey, the place looks better.

Oh no we all knew EXACTLY where you were all this time. On vacation, that's good. ...See this is why I don't really respect these Carolina writers all that much. In New York sports journalists don't get to take prolonged haitus from writing short posts just because there's "nothing going on". Giant's beat writer Ralph Vacchiano even has a fucking TWITTER set up! The Panthers' writers, on the other hand, get weeks, months off to do whatever the fuck just because John Fox burns pictures of Saints in the hands of newly hired organization executives so nobody knows we talked to a fucking practice squad WR until they cut a deal.

Maybe it's that New York attitude of the unquentiable pursuit of career advancement. Or maybe it's the fact that the further and further south you go, the more people become kinda.... slower. Me, I could drive 70 miles down to South Jersey and people there can't keep the fucking pace up with me.

And in reality, there's not much going on right now. There's a lull between the draft and June OTAs (which start May 27), but there are a few odds and ends to address:

-- Peter King ranks the Panthers 18th in offseason power poll

Frankly, this borders on asinine. I'm not saying the Panthers are a top five team going into 2009 (their history points to bad luck and 7-9 after a good season), but to say they're in the bottom half of the league doesn't make sense.

Really, Darin? How fucking petty can we Panthers fans be? Who gives a fuck what Peter King has to say? We're getting pissed because an ESPN writer ranked a small market team in the lower half of the league? I hope you realize that we've followed up every single season we've made the playoffs thus far in franchise history with a .500 or below record the next year. So don't get all pissy at the guy because Carolina's not his favorite team and that history agrees with him and,... who gives a fuck? Seriously Darin if this is all you had to write about you could've stayed on vacation.

-- Mike Minter mulls run for Congress

The former Panthers safety is kicking around the idea of becoming a public servant.

Is this really breaking news?

Minter's as forthright as any player I've covered. He could have hung on in 2007, and collected checks, and been beloved as a player. But his knees were shot, he knew it, and he wasn't able to do his job. He's also a man of principle, who agonized over an early free agent decision, coming within hours of boarding a plane for Cleveland and more money to stay where he started.

Lol. Minter had many good years in a Panthers uniform, but alas, he aged and couldn't play anymore. ...just like every other player. He actually made a good decision for the Panthers as well as himself. His retirement led to the acquisition of Chris Harris for penny candy in order to fortify Safety.

They repaid the favor later, hanging onto him past his expiration date as an impact player. Professional teams don't extend that courtesy to many, but Minter deserved it.

Nice, so we sacrificed talent replenishment, <=== a characteristic of good football team management, and suffered through the inadequacy of an aging, past-his-prime player because we owed it to Minter? Are you fucking kidding me? We might as well give him a plaque on the front door and a pension while we're at it. Gantt this isn't a fucking GM manufacturing plant this is the fucking gridiron. The more we put these players on a pedestal and make decisions in the best interest of them, instead of the team, the longer we are going to go nowhere.

(Although, I am intrigued at Jason Taylor signing a cut-rate deal with Miami, not New England. The Pats would love to have Peppers, but it sounds like they're struggling with the two-pronged compensation required to get him. Know this, they're lurking.)

Okay, first of all, New England does NOT need Julius Peppers by any stretch of the imagination. Their defense is well-talented and well-coached, they have no room for a spoiled crybaby prima donna defensive end who wants to play in a position where he doesn't have much of an assignment to take on blockers so he can roam free because he's pretty much all brute force and little technique to beat LTs which is why he is so hot and cold on the field.

Second of all, do you know what Kraft and Belichick will do to get Peppers? They will fucking rip Hurney off if they wanted to. I don't want to see the Patriots trading with us because they are some conniving cunning bastards, ...and they're good because of the way they do business.

Otherwise, if anybody wants to come help pull weeds and rocks out of the garden, let me know.

Ugh.

Panther Excuses: 2009 edition

2009-05-10T18:27:00.000-07:00

in the event of a failed effort in the 2009 season, say for example, another 7-9 record or worse, the following are the excuses you're likely to hear.

It is what it is

The other team practices too

we picked a bad day to have a bad day

he didn't play well but it was only one game

...kind of the same retread we go through loss after loss year by year. Panther Journalists, beat writers, and self proclaimed "real" fans might be bought off by those shit copouts but the realest most down to earth Pantherites won't. It's clear Fox has wooed many supporters just based on his aloofness and good ole boy charm. He's almost like a cartoon character, quirky in many ways, but that's what people like about him. ...This is the same reason people like Jake Delhomme and will forget every single game he makes awful throws and turns the ball over more than once just because his personality is great and that's good enough for them.

Best QBs: Last 16 years

2009-05-07T18:55:00.000-07:00

Here are the top ten QBs in passer rating and pass yards the last 16 years. Players in bold ranked in the top ten in both categories. The # next to the team which they played for is what round they were drafted in.

Year

Passer Rating

Passing Yards

2008

Philip Rivers (SD) 1^st

Chad Pennington (MIA) 1^st

Kurt Warner (ARI) UD

Drew Brees (NO) 2^nd

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Aaron Rodgers (GB) 1^st

Matt Schaub (HOU) 3^rd

Tony Romo (DAL) UD

Jeff Garcia (TB) UD

Matt Cassel (NE) 4^th

Drew Brees (NO) 2^nd

Kurt Warner (ARI) UD

Jay Cutler (DEN) 1^st

Aaron Rodgers (GB) 1^st

Philip Rivers (SD) 1^st

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Donovan McNabb (PHI) 1^st

Matt Cassel (NE) 4^th

Chad Pennington (MIA) 1^st

David Garrard (JAX) 4^th

2007

Tom Brady (NE) 6th

Ben Roethlisberger (PIT) 1^st

David Garrard (JAX) 4^th

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Tony Romo (DAL) UD

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Jeff Garcia (TB) UD

Matt Hasselbeck (SEA) 6^th

Donovan McNabb (PHI) 1^st

Kurt Warner (ARI) UD

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

Drew Brees (NO) 2^nd

Tony Romo (DAL) UD

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Carson Palmer (CIN) 1^st

Jon Kitna (DET) UD

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Matt Hasselbeck (SEA) 6^th

Derek Anderson (CLE) 6^th

Jay Cutler (DEN) 1^st

2006

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Damon Huard (KC) UD

Drew Brees (NO) 2^nd

Donovan McNabb (PHI) 1^st

Tony Romo (DAL) UD

Carson Palmer (CIN) 1^st

Marc Bulger (STL) 6^th

Philip Rivers (SD) 1^st

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

Mark Brunell (WAS) 5^th

Drew Brees (NO) 2^nd

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Marc Bulger (STL) 6^th

Jon Kitna (DET) UD

Carson Palmer (CIN) 1^st

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

Ben Roethlisberger (PIT) 1^st

Philip Rivers (SD) 1^st

Chad Pennington (NYJ) 1^st

2005

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Carson Palmer (CIN) 1^st

Ben Roethlisberger (PIT) 1^st

Matt Hasselbeck (SEA) 6^th

Marc Bulger (STL) 6^th

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

Jake Plummer (DEN) 2^nd

Trent Green (KC) 8^th

Byron Leftwich (JAX) 1^st

Drew Brees (SD) 2^nd

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

Trent Green (KC) 8^th

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Carson Palmer (CIN) 1^st

Eli Manning (NYG) 1^st

Kerry Collins (OAK) 1^st

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Drew Bledsoe (DAL) 1^st

Drew Brees (SD) 2^nd

Matt Hasselbeck (SEA) 6^th

2004

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Daunte Culpepper (MIN) 1^st

Drew Brees (SD) 2^nd

Donovan McNabb (PHI) 1^st

Ben Roethlisberger (PIT) 1^st

Brian Griese (TB) 3^rd

Trent Green (KC) 8^th

Marc Bulger (STL) 6^th

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Daunte Culpepper (MIN) 1^st

Trent Green (KC) 8^th

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Jake Plummer (DEN) 2^nd

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Marc Bulger (STL) 6^th

Jake Delhomme (CAR) UD

Donovan McNabb (PHI) 1^st

Aaron Brooks (NO) 4^th

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

2003

Steve McNair (TEN) 1^st

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Daunte Culpepper (MIN) 1^st

Trent Green (KC) 8^th

Jake Plummer (DEN) 2^nd

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Aaron Brooks (NO) 4^th

Matt Hasselbeck (SEA) 6^th

John Kitna (CIN) UD

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Trent Green (KC) 8^th

Marc Bulger (STL) 6^th

Matt Hasselbeck (SEA) 6^th

Brad Johnson (TB) 9^th

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

Jon Kitna (CIN) UD

Aaron Brooks (NO) 4^th

Daunte Culpepper (MIN) 1^st

Tommy Maddox (PIT) 1^st

2002

Chad Pennington (NYJ) 1^st

Rich Gannon (OAK) 4^th

Brad Johnson (TB) 9^th

Trent Green (KC) 8^th

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Matt Hasselbeck (SEA) 6^th

Drew Bledsoe (BUF) 1^st

Donovan McNabb (PHI) 1^st

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

Mark Brunell (JAX) 5^th

Rich Gannon (OAK) 4^th

Drew Bledsoe (BUF) 1^st

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Kerry Collins (NYG) 1^st

Daunte Culpepper (MIN) 1^st

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

Trent Green (KC) 8^th

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Aaron Brooks (NO) 4^th

Steve McNair (TEN) 1^st

2001

Kurt Warner (STL) UD

Rich Gannon (OAK) 4^th

Jeff Garcia (SF) UD

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Steve McNair (TEN) 1^st

Tom Brady (NE) 6^th

Donovan McNabb (PHI) 1^st

Mark Brunell (JAX) 5^th

Chris Chandler (ATL) 3^rd

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Kurt Warner (STL) UD

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Aaron Brooks (NO) 4^th

Rich Gannon (OAK) 4^th

Trent Green (KC) 8^th

Kerry Collins (NYG) 1^st

Jake Plummer (ARI) 2^nd

Jeff Garcia (SF) UD

Doug Flutie (SD) 11^th

2000

Brian Greise (DEN) 3^rd

Trent Green (STL) 8^th

Kurt Warner (STL) UD

Daunte Culpepper (MIN) 1^st

Jeff Garcia (SF) UD

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Rich Gannon (OAK) 4^th

Elvis Grbac (KC) 8^th

Doug Flutie (SD) 11^th

Mark Brunell (JAX) 5^th

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Jeff Garcia (SF) UD

Elvis Grbac (KC) 8^th

Daunte Culpepper (MIN) 1^st

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Vinny Testaverde (NYJ) 1^st

Steve Beuerlein (CAR) 4^th

Mark Brunell (JAX) 5^th

Kerry Collins (NYG) 1^st

Rich Gannon (OAK) 4^th

1999

Kurt Warner (STL) UD

Steve Beuerlein (CAR) 4^th

Jeff George (MIN) 1^st

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Brad Johnson (WAS) 9^th

Rich Gannon (OAK) 4^th

Ray Lucas (NYJ) UD?

Charlie Batch (DET) 2^nd

Gus Frerotte (DET) 7^th

Chris Chandler (ATL) 3^rd

Steve Beuerlein (CAR) 4^th

Kurt Warner (STL) UD

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Brad Johnson (WAS) 9^th

Drew Bledsoe (NE) 1^st

Rich Gannon (OAK) 4^th

Elvis Grbac (KC) 8^th

Jon Kitna (SEA) UD
Doug Flutie (BUF) 11^th

1998

Randall Cunningham (MIN) 5^th

Vinny Testaverde (NYJ) 1^st

Steve Young (SF) 1^st

Chris Chandler (ATL) 3^rd

John Elway (DEN) 1^st

Neil O’Donnell (CIN) 3^rd

Mark Brunell (JAX) 5^th

Troy Aikman (DAL) 1^st

Steve Beuerlein (CAR) 4^th

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Steve Young (SF) 1^st

Peyton Manning (IND) 1^st

Jake Plummer (ARI) 2^nd

Randall Cunningham (MIN) 5^th

Drew Bledsoe (NE) 1^st

Dan Marino (MIA) 1^st

Trent Green (WAS) 8^th

Vinny Testaverde (NYJ) 1^st

Steve McNair (TEN) 1^st

1997

Steve Young (SF) 1^st

Chris Chandler (ATL) 3^rd

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Mark Brunell (JAX) 5^th

Jeff George (OAK) 1^st

Drew Bledsoe (NE) 1^st

John Elway (DEN) 1^st

Jim Harbaugh (IND) 1^st

Brad Johnson (MIN) 9^th

Bobby Hoying (PHI) 3^rd

Jeff George (OAK) 1^st

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Dan Marino (MIA) 1^st

Drew Bledsoe (NE) 1^st

Warren Moon (SEA) UD

John Elway (DEN) 1^st

Scott Mitchell (DET) 4^th

Troy Aikman (DAL) 1^st

Mark Brunell (JAX) 5^th

Tony Banks (STL) 2^nd

1996

Steve Young (SF) 1^st

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Brad Johnson (MIN) 9^th

John Elway (DEN) 1^st

Vinny Testaverde (BAL) 1^st

Dan Marino (MIA) 1^st

Mark Brunell (JAX) 5^th

Drew Bledsoe (NE) 1^st

Jeff Hostetler (OAK) 3^rd

Ty Detmer (PHI) 9^th

Mark Brunell (JAX) 5^th

Vinny Testaverde (BAL) 1^st

Drew Bledsoe (NE) 1^st

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Jeff Blake (CIN) 6^th

Gus Frerotte (WAS) 7^th

John Elway (DEN) 1^st

Bobby Hebert (ATL) UD

Troy Aikman (DAL) 1^st

Scott Mitchell (DET) 4^th

1995

Jim Harbaugh (IND) 1^st

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Troy Aikman (DAL) 1^st

Erik Kramer (CHI) UD

Scott Mitchell (DET) 4^th

Steve Young (SF) 1^st

Warren Moon (MIN) UD

Dan Marino (MIA) 1^st

Jeff George (ATL)1^st

Chris Chandler (HOU) 3^rd

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Scott Mitchell (DET) 4^th

Warren Moon (MIN) UD

Jeff George (ATL) 1^st

John Elway (DEN) 1^st

Jim Everett (NO) 1^st

Erik Kramer (CHI) UD

Jeff Blake (CIN) 6^th

Dan Marino (MIA) 1^st

Dave Kreig (ARI) UD

1994

Steve Young (SF) 1^st

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Dan Marino (MIA) 1^st

John Elway (DEN) 1^st

Troy Aikman (DAL) 1^st

Jim Everett (NO) 1^st

Jim Kelly (BUF) 1^st

Joe Montana (KC) 3^rd

Jeff George (ATL) 1^st

Craig Erickson (TB) 4^th

Drew Bledsoe (NE) 1^st

Dan Marino (MIA) 1^st

Warren Moon (MIN) UD

Steve Young (SF) 1^st

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Jim Everett (NO) 1^st

Jeff George (ATL) 1^st

John Elway (DEN) 1^st

Jeff Hostetler (OAK) 3^rd

Joe Montana (KC) 1^st

1993

Steve Young (SF) 1^st

Troy Aikman (DAL) 1^st

John Elway (DEN) 1^st

Phil Simms (NYG) 1^st

Joe Montana (KC) 3^rd

Vinny Testaverde (CLE) 1^st

Bubby Brister (PHI) 3^rd

Boomer Esiason (NYJ) 2^nd

Scott Mitchell (MIA) 4^th

Bobby Hebert (ATL) UD

John Elway (DEN) 1^st

Steve Young (SF) 1^st

Warren Moon (HOU) UD

Boomer Esiason (NYJ) 2^nd

Jim Kelly (BUF) 1^st

Brett Favre (GB) 2^nd

Jeff Hostetler (OAK) 3^rd

Neil O’Donnell (PIT) 3^rd

Steve Beuerlein (ARI) 4^th

Troy Aikman (DAL) 1^st

Minicamp commences tomorrow...

2009-04-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

...And so it begins.

The worst part of the offseason, AKA THE most boring part that usually is boring, is over, it's actually been over since FA started, but the Panthers hadn't done a fucking thing there so it's felt longer for some of us cats fans.

Tomorrow Panthers players don the sweatpants and the blue or white (depends on what side of the field ya play on) pinneys and go through the drills.

It's somewhat of a "First look" at the players. First look at the draft picks going through drills, watching speed and shit like that, and also a new first look to see players this year who've been here previously, and take a look at guys who've hit the weight rooms and gotten stronger. ...you'll notice it when they're better at their drills than they were the year before.

Smith will probably haul in passes like it's week 7....

Break it down: the 20 undrafted free agents

2009-04-29T22:37:00.000-07:00

Here we go, just for you, I'm going to give a brief synopsis on each of these guys...

Larry Beavers WR 5-10 167 - Ok, let's see, you can spend all fucking day making jokes about this guy's last name, and I guess he has RS potential, but 167lbs? A stiff easterly wind could probably blow him out of the stadium.

Kevin Brock TE 6-5 255 - He's a Rutgers kid. I remember a few years back we scouted Clark Harris, a TE from the same school, but we ended up not drafting him.

Patrick Brown OT 6-5 303 - Camp fodder

Gerald Cadogan OT 6-5 310 - Possibly the best draft prospect that didn't get his name called on Saturday or Sunday.

Hunter Cantwell QB 6-4 236 - Great, another Louisville QB. Kid's got an arm but not much accuracy and his decision-making is questionable.

Jason Chery WR 5-10 185 - Camp fodder

D.J. Clark CB 6-1 200 - Camp fodder

C.J. Davis G 6-2 308 - He MIGHT have a shot if he can beat out that guard we drafted last year, his name escapes me at this time...

Marlon Favorite DT 6-1 317 - DT is THAT bad he may have a shot, if not, he could be a practice squad guy.

Keith Gray C 6-2 294 - Who's behind Kalil in the depth chart? If nobody, this guy might have a spot.

Lonnie Harvey DT 6-3 342 - Fucking juggernaut DT at 342. Nice.

Anthony Heygood LB 6-1 225 - Camp Fodder

Mortty Ivy LB 6-1 239 - Camp Fodder

Mike Juergens LB 6-3 230 - Camp Fodder

Justin Kershaw DT 6-4 271 - a 270 lb DT?

Jamall Lee RB 6-1 225 - This is the guy I think who played in Canadian college football.

Brit Miller LB 6-0 243 - Camp FODDER

Anthony Scirrotto S 6-0 202 - He's got a shot because our safety depth absolutely sucks

Nick Sundberg LS 6-0 245 - Didn't we TRADE for a longsnapper or something a few weeks ago?

Garry Williams OT 6-3 296 - Undersized and CAMP FODDER

Darry Beckwith would've been a great one to pluck but the fucking Chargers got him.

Fuck you Josh McDaniels

2009-04-27T20:51:00.000-07:00

Ran across this gem on KFFL.

shit. I wanted Baker here as DT depth. I would've given him a chance despite the character concerns.

Finally, a UDFA worth mention

2009-04-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

It's being widely reported draft hopeful OT Gerald Cadogan out of Penn State signed with the Panthers.

Why is this relevant you ask? Cadogan's not your usual UDFA, no. He was projected a 2nd/3rd rounder by NFLDC.

He's got a great frame for our power running game system. 6'5'', 310, with room to bulk up if he wants as well. Great value and OL depth is looking better with the pickup of him and Duke Robinson in the fifth round.

First Panther UDFAs are in...

2009-04-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

As of press time I'm writing this and the Observer hasn't published anything new yet... l o fucking l.

LB Anthony Heygood-Honestly I can't find much information on this guy. He's not on NFLDC's linebacker rankings. I think we got a phantom. His profile page on the Purdue website is all I could gather on this guy. 6'2'', 230, just another tiny linebacker.

QB Graham Harrell-Well la-dee-fucking-da. The tradition of grabbing near talentless QBs AFTER the draft continues. Harrell has a head on his shoulders but NO FUCKING ARM. His release is slower than UPS and his passes just hang in the air like an old balloon on it's last gasp of helium.

OL Keith Grey-A sub-300lb lineman. Great. This was all the information I found on him.

Probably all these guys will turn out to be utterly useless and if your a guy who goes absolutely ga-ga at these humps you must be a REAL big training camp fan.

*UPDATE*

Apparently it seems from what I've been able to dig up that the Harrell and Grey pickups are hogwash. The Heygood signing is definitely legit however.

Other names that have officially been announced are Pittsburgh OL C.J. Davis and Larry Beavers, a return specialist from Wesley College.

**UPDATE**

UConn OL Keith Grey, who I previously said signed with us, then retracted because it hadn't been confirmed, HAS been confirmed, as well as Rutgers TE Kevin Brock and WR Jason Cherry from Louisiana-Lafayette (yea...like we need MORE players from that program.)

The Draft: My Summation

2009-04-26T15:44:00.001-07:00

Okay the booze has worn off since last night and after 8 hours of sleep and a shift at work, I had to take a minute and collect and gather all the information I could to come up with a clear, sober conclusion.

2/43: Everette Brown-Okay, I was very steamed when I found out we dropped a first rounder for this guy. I'm still a bit steamed about it. But for now, we've got a nice edge rusher, and my favorite defensive end out of this class. People are talking about how "undersized" he is at 255 but you can find quite a bit of very good DEs in the NFL that are in that weight class. Brown isn't going to be the guy to Bull-rush 330lb offensive tackles but he will use his technique to squirm out of their reach and make them tired trying to chase him.

2/59: Sherrod Martin-I saw the ticker say "S" for safety last night and now today it's "CB" so which fucking one is it? I'm not totally sure if we're going with him at FS instead of Godfrey and put him at nickel, or keep Charles at safety.

3/93: Corvey Irvin-You knew where we were going with this one, you just didn't know exactly who it was going to be. Roy Miller went a few picks prior and you could make a case that was the person they were aiming for but at some point, we needed to address DT, it was so fucking embarrassing last year. I don't think they're totally satisfied with what they got though, and they will probably filter through the pile of cap casualty defensive tackles that will be let go in the coming weeks.

4/111: Mike Goodson-Well with our other pick we got in the SF trade, we grab a running back. Well you know he isn't going to see much playing time barring injury, he's a change of pace guy who might have potential as a returner.

4/128: Tony Fiammetta-This is my one pick of the draft that actually happened. As unpredictable as the draft could be, I didn't underestimate their desire to stack the running game even more and Tony is no.2 of the 3 guys they got for that purpose. I like Tony, he's a physical tough-as nails concrete fucking panzer tank who will drop a mother fucker in run blocking. Plus he's a paisan.

5/163: Duke Robinson-I honestly do not know how this happened. I know there isn't much of a demand for OGs, and a lot of teams would rather draft a questionable OT to kick him inside at guard, but I read a shitload of mocks that claimed that Pittsburgh was going to take him or, generally, that he was going to be gone late first round. I know character plays a part in evaluation but I did not expect him to freefall down FIVE and a half rounds before the Panthers pulled the net out and caught him. I really dig this pick and probably the best value we got for him. Yes Everette Brown unexpectedly dropped too but we did actually spend a first rounder to get him.

7/216: Captain Munnerlyn-Sometimes you just pick at random, you ain't going to find much value at this point so why the hell not bring in a home-state player.

We just ate a dick

2009-04-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

Don't get me wrong. I like what we got. Everette Brown was a top ten pick. What I DON'T like is what we gave up. I mean we basically traded a first rounder to move up 17 spots.

wait....

I don't know where I am....

Is Marty Hurney running this team or did Dan Snyder buy the Panthers too? Since when do we chase our tail constantly trading our fucking first round picks in advance every single fucking year? 59 and our third rounder probably would've sufficed if we wanted him that badly. Holy shit. And to top it off, we draft a safety to boot with 59. He better push Godfrey to nickel and turn into fucking Ed Reed 2.0 at FS otherwise that was just a waste of a fucking pick.

I'm totally pissed right now. This team'll drive you to drink.

Panthers could give less of a shit about winning, more about loyalty

2009-04-23T19:31:00.001-07:00

Jake Delhomme, Marty Hurney, John Fox. A trifecta of brilliance and dividends in the past. ...yet, more recently, a trifecta of almost certain disaster for the Panthers.

Today, my fellow Panther fans, is a day that will live in infamy. A day in which for possibly the first time ever, an organization ties it's future at the most important position on, ........Jake Delhomme. A day in which an audible chuckle infests the U.S., the audible chuckle that is 31 other teams' fans, executives, GMs, owners, etc.

5 years, $42 Million. ...I guess the 5 years stands for every interception he threw in the Arizona game. I don't know what the fuck they did here, honestly. This could quite possibly be the single worst decision Marty Hurney has ever made. ...WORSE than Dan Morgan's contract extension a few years ago.

Delhomme has proven to be nothing but inconsistent, a QB with multiple awful performances interspersed with some notable performances, but the notable ones get less and less as time goes by.

The Panthers are not a team. It's a gentlemen's club. They only are concerned with the prosperity of their "CORE" and that's it. The trifecta that achieved early success and are only concerned with trying to re-live 2003.

I wish I had a boss who was that loyal to me. Then I could tell customers off AND get a raise the next day!!! But I work for a company which preaches accountability, some concept the Panthers organization completely doesn't comprehend. Good luck with this 5 year journey Hurney/Fox because if this fails, I will direct a fucking parade on the streets when they fire your asses.

Get ready for yet another most exciting draft!!

2009-04-21T14:38:00.001-07:00

Yep, this Saturday, yet another draft held in NY is ready to come up.

So this is the Special Draft Preview for you guys...

1. How many top 10-picking teams will announce they're trying to trade down?
This is guaranteed to happen with at least one team every year. A top 10 pick is a gift, and at the same time, a curse. Teams who aren't selecting in the top ten wish they had a top ten pick, and surely enough, teams that do select in the top ten wish they had a lower pick. It's just part of the draft. Detroit as had a top 5 pick like 7 out of the last 8 years or something, so they are really trying to save money considering the cap hell they see in front of them when they have to throw these 50 million dollar contracts at these guys who will hold out unless they get the big fucking salaries they want so they can piss it away on strippers and jam with Snoop Dogg or whoever the fuck.

2. Which team will reach for Michael Johnson?
Michael Johnson: First round talent, 7th round work ethic. This guy has major question marks as an every down guy, yet some dumbass GM will fall in love with his freakish athleticism and pick him in the top 20. Now I'd take him if he falls to the 3rd round, but to snag him with your very first pick in the draft? (oh btw, he's not catching Pat White in this pic)

3. How many tubes of Brylcreem will Mel Kiper put in his hair this year?
The Vegas over/under is 3 4.5 ounce tubes. It could very well be much more however.

4. In which of the first 12 selections will Washington trade their 13th overall pick for an overrated disgruntled player?
Skins fans, admit it. Snyder couldn't give less of a shit about the NFL draft. If he had his druthers he would probably forfeit all his picks for an extra 10 million dollars in salary cap so he can give Jovan Haye a $24 million guaranteed contract.

5. Which talentless undrafted rookie FA QB will the Panthers pick up the week after so he can complete 40% of his passes in the preseason and be anointed the "chosen one" as the heir apparent to Delhomme?
Probably John Parker Wilson, but don't count out Rudy Carpenter or Ben Olson.

...so many questions, so little time...

Alright let's do a Panthers mock draft

2009-04-01T15:16:00.000-07:00

Lets just cut straight to the chase.

Rd 2/Pick 59: Well this is a really shitty position to try and get an immediate contributor. Oh well, whatever. Let's just hope Ron Brace falls down that far. He's the only one of the "second round" DTs I think has a decent chance to come in and contribute but I don't think he will be there. If he isn't, I've seen Sen'Derrick Marks as our pick but, I'm looking for a guy who can play the "line penetrator" role that Jenkins played when he was here. Kemo has his own role as the run stuffer but he doesn't offer much at all as a pass rusher and Damione Lewis isn't an every down DT.

Rd 3/Pick 93: Nickel Cornerback maybe? You know I've seen a few places suggesting CJ Wilson, one of our last picks from 2007, to play there. All I remember about CJ was he was like in the bottom of the fucking depth chart, ....at the safety position. Coye Francies and Victor Harris are in 3rd round territory, so they might be the pick, but if there isn't value there I don't want to just pick a corner for the sake of picking one either. For some reason, none of the cornerbacks tested really well in the 40 yard dash at the combine. Maybe we can turn to line depth. Kraig Urbik fits the kind of mold for a power running game such as ours with his 330 lb frame and he supposedly has a mean streak for run blocking.

Rd 4/Pick 128: I'd like to see Nate Davis in a Panther Uni. I'm not that fond of Pat White's passing abilities but Nate's stock fell and he could be there in the fourth. The guy was once considered a second rounder at one point. There's been talk about him having a learning disability but it hasn't proven to slow a guy down if he can pass his courses and learn the damn playbook at the same time, which he did. Matt Moore didn't follow up a respectable 2-1 rookie season with a good preseason last year, which is all we had to judge him on, and Josh McCown has no upside. He couldn't break 7 yards a pass attempt when he had Boldin and Fitzgerald to throw to in Arizona.

Rd 5/Pick 163: Tony Fiammetta is an intriguing fullback prospect. He's even been looked at as a kind of H-Back, just like Jeff King and Dante Rosario were. All indications are he should very well be there in the 5th, since he's a fullback, unless some asshole team decides to draft him in the 3rd round. He could come in and help contribute as a blocker as well as a receiver out of the backfield. Brad Hoover did a great job last year but alas, he is 32 years old and he couldn't catch a fucking thing that Jake threw to him.

Rd 6/Pick 202: Bleh, who the fuck is here that we could get some value out of? DE depth possibly. Philip Hunt is speculated to be there per drafttek's rankings. He had 14 sacks at Houston. Some nice upside for a 6th rounder.

Now hopefully we get a nice first rounder for Peppers we could use but, you know, until he signs the goddamn tender, we can't do shit, and he's gotta figure that just pussyfooting around is hurting his own reputation.

Panthers preseason schedule/opponents are out

2009-03-31T19:24:00.000-07:00

....like anyone gives a shit tho.

Panthers' preseason schedule released

Ok so lets see what we've got on the menu this year.

The preseason opener is at the Meadowlands against the New York Giants. Possibly a preview of the Giants game later on in the season and Foxy better be getting a feel for what's to come in this one.

After that we travel to Miami and face the 'Phins. Many Panther fans remember the last time we played Miami in the preseason was at home, and DeAngelo Williams, for the first time, showed his elusiveness and took a kickoff to the house.

After that the Panthers go back home to play Baltimore in game no.3. ...Not a lot of history between these two teams.

And in the final game of the preseason the annual Panthers-Steelers Bowl continues on for another year as you guessed it, Pittsburgh, comes to our house and plays us. Yay.

Honestly who the fuck cares who we play in the preseason?

Michael Vick: Use Your Illusion

2009-03-31T15:19:00.001-07:00

Stumbled across this hilarious article. I mean, for a second, I thought The Onion wrote it, but it turns out it came out of the Atlanta Journal Constitution, so I guess that's pretty much the same thing.

The embattled Atlanta Falcons quarterback is hoping to earn as much as $10 million a year or more, according to court filings in his bankruptcy case. Under the plan he submitted to the court, Vick would keep the first $750,000 of his annual income over the next five years. After that, a percentage would go to his creditors based on a sliding scale.

Heh, didn't know they allowed widespread consumption of crack cocaine in prison now, oh well. Here this dumbass thinks an NFL team is going to pay a QB who was never that good to begin with 10 million dollars a fucking year. Unless the dollar becomes really really fucking devalued by the time Vick gets out of the joint and a Wendy's happy meal costs $6,000 I doubt anybody's gonna find 10 mil as a small sum of cash to throw away on this dickhead.

In a March 4 court filing, Vick’s attorneys say he “has every reason to believe upon his release, he will be reinstated into the NFL, resume his career and be able to earn a substantial living.”

...yea. If Vick gets league minimum salary for vets and they split him out wide as a utility player he should be fucking grateful an NFL team gave him the chance to do anything.

“He is hopeful to play quarterback,” Daniel Meachum, an attorney and business manager for Vick, said in an interview. “There is no person with his talent in that position in all the league.”

Heh. Apparently 4 years of college plus 2-3 years of law school just doesn't make you very smart does it. Meachum admits here he doesn't watch football so he should just go back to his office and feed the little fucking fish in his aquarium there and start looking forward to hitting the country club because spring time has arrived.

Gil Brandt, a senior analyst for NFL.com, predicted Goodell would give Vick another chance to play, possibly after sanctioning him again. But he said Vick, who holds the NFL single-season record for rushing yards by a quarterback, would stand a better chance of making a team at a different position such as running back.

“The guy is a talented player, but he is going to be away from football for at least three years,” said Brandt, former vice president of player personnel for the Dallas Cowboys. “I think it is very, very hard if you are a skill-position player like a quarterback to spend three years away from football and perform at the level that you performed before you were suspended.”

Finally, some common sense in this article.

Vick, meanwhile, remains on the Falcons’ suspended roster. Last month, the team announced it was trying to trade him. In November, The Associated Press contacted the NFL’s other 31 teams about acquiring Vick. Most refused to comment, citing league tampering rules. However, six teams said they would not shut the door on acquiring Vick.

I'm willing to put a small bet on the Raiders as one of those teams...

Darin Gantt: Tell me he did not just say THAT

2009-03-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Darin Gantt, quintessential Panthers beat writer, offers his viewpoint on the Delhomme situation, since some info got leaked out about a contract extension or other kind of shit.

Well, first of all, he opens with some corny ominous tone that exudes condescension.

For starters, take a deep breath.

Then he squanders on for another paragraph or so putting forth the current situation. After that, Gantt shows his opinion, and that's when all hell breaks loose.

Any deal for Delhomme will be done to keep him as the quarterback here for the next few years, not for short-term salary cap relief. I'm going to say that again, because the lunatic fringe has struggled to understand this offseason. They're going to do a deal with Jake because they want to keep him around.

The words "lunatic fringe" is probably the closest he's come to putting together a clever quip in the last 6 months.

I mused on about how Gantt has formed into a compete Fox yes-man a while back in an earlier post. Darin did not do much to disprove my claim. It sounds like he's trying to shield Delhomme from any criticism by basically denigrating a part of the fanbase, and ultimately, his own readership. Yea, nice move there, jackass.

I post on carolinahuddle. There are a respectable # of people who are pretty intelligent who hang on this guy's every word like a religious fanatic hangs on the words of the book of Genesis. They've even claimed that Gantt is the best Panthers beat writer out of all of them. I could throw a good portion of evidence to the contrary but even if he was, ...the best ...PANTHERS beat writer, we're talking on the media scale of a market of the Panthers' caliber, not sportswriters in any market, because the best ones in the biggest markets could piss and shit all over this guy.

Gantt can throw the "good" news out of Charlotte so much like he did in this shitty one, like the Panthers achieved some kind of moral victory over their own fanbase with the Delhomme extension thing, but when he doesn't and actually tries to analyze things and you can see what this guy is thinking, he's more transparent than a fucking plate glass window.

Another note from this piece of garbage...

That means no Jay Cutler, no Derek Anderson, no Byron Leftwich, no Brett Favre, no Vinny Testaverde and likely no Pat White. Take another deep breath. Try to accept it. It's hard, I know.

Okay, who the fuck suggested the last 3 guys as any real threat to Delhomme's job security? Farve and Testaverde might soon be able to apply to AARP and Pat White, well, nobody even knows if he's going to play fucking QB at the next level. If we pick him up we might just line him up out wide in the Z so Delhomme can sail a long ball 14 feet over his head.

No, I'm sorry, what I said before about Gantt, I underestimated him. He's no longer the bumbling Fox Yes Man. No, he's graduated to the official Panthers Kool Aid man.

Darin is loading up by the bucket full for all to guzzle down. So sip the goodness that is nostalgic delusions of grandeur that Delhomme is a super-bowl capable QB like he was in 2003, after, well, only 5 or 6 years more of NFL play, the fact that he is 34 and pretty old by NFL standards, that he accounted for 9 turnovers his past 2 playoff games, that he completely fucked up against Oakland and Tampa, accounting for 4 against the awful Raiders defense and 5 in two games against the Bucs and the team kinda won in spite of his play 2 of those 3 games, his Tommy John surgery which apparently improved the mobilization of his throwing arm but who knows how long that's gonna last, and other, extensive evidence.

The Panthers are fatally committed to Delhomme. I realize they have had more success with him more than any other QB, but his time as a player is reaching his close after every season. I'm not knocking him, I like Delhomme. He's a great person, I've appreciated everything he's brought here, he's a joy to watch, but soon enough, the question's gonna force itself on the Panthers, of "who's going to be a long term QB for the future?" and Fox is either gonna answer it with Matt Moore (who has a very likely chance he could massively fail, leading us to confirm that was just a half assed attempt at shoring up a future on Fox's part) or actually get a guy with the tools that can work in a system with a solid built foundation (because a lot of first round QBs that have not become busts have been drafted by teams that had a solid core, and I believe we have a very solid core).

First round QBs may cost much, but there's a reason people draft them.

Mark Jones: KR to play with Tennessee in 2009

2009-03-21T21:33:00.000-07:00

Sit back and let me regale you with a tale that will entertain yet confuse you.

You see, once upon a time there was this team called the Panthers. And the Panthers had one of the NFL's shittiest return games of all time in professional football. So when their stalwart returner who didn't do much at all named Ryne Robinson got hurt and had to go on IR, the Panthers sought out to find a guy that could take his place. They found Mark Jones.

Mark Jones was never a good wide receiver, but he had something figured out as far as returning kicks and punts. He had vision, he had smarts. He knew where to run the best route downfield as he avoided the other special teams unit and consistently gave the Panthers good field position. He would get caught downfield, but often you'd see this happen during a game.

Jones offered a shit ton of help as far as field position went, and was partially responsible for the Panthers' offense scoring 400+ points for the first time since, well, EVER. (ok actually in 1999 we scored 400+ points with Beuerlein's productive season, but it was such a long fucking time ago I don't remember it that well)

So naturally when free agency hits and it's time to re-sign this guy Fox just lets him go and is content with the same mediocre motherfucker we had before Jones came in and took ST play to a whole 'nother level.

Godspeed, Mark. I hope you return one for a touchdown every fucking week next year so people can see how big of a fucking moron John Fox is sometimes.

Peppers to New England?

2009-03-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

A trade rumor was thrown in the air to be swept away by the wind earlier this week regarding Julius Peppers going to New England for a 2nd round pick, 34th overall. And just like every other rumor created in the offseason, it got blown way the fuck out of proportion and was the talk of the town for quite some time. Then the truth came out: Peppers can't be traded by Carolina because he hasn't signed the franchise tender.

Then Belichick comes out and says this crap about it taking Peppers' signature and time to hash out the terms of the trade.

Belichick did say, “There’s a lot of moving parts in a situation like this. There’s a lot of things that have to be worked out and, in all honesty, when you’re talking about that level of player, that level of contract, those different levels of commitment, it’s usually not the kind of thing that happens in 10 or 15 minutes.

And just what would you need to hash out with Hurney? What are you trying to get him for something lower than the 34th overall you fucking shyster? How about this, Billy. You were dreaming if you would think that Carolina would give him away for a shitty little Kansas City second rounder that was the compensation. Nah, if anything, Hurney's got some shit to work out himself about the trade. Your first round pick looks nice. So does the play of Ellis Hobbs. If you were to somehow combine those two and offer them to Hurney, he may consider it seriously. Oh, and of course, that has to be AFTER Peppers signs the tender.

Sunday Night Filler (3/15)

2009-03-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

Starting a new weekly summary of my feelings about the team and anything else.

-Torry Holt is not a receiving option for the Panthers. I know he has the hometown thing down with the panther fanbase, but we'd probably have the oldest wide receiver core with his signing. Plus, good luck having Delhomme even look for him to get open in a 3wr set with Moose and Smith running routes.

-Jay Cutler met up with Josh Daniels to discuss their differences face to face, and according to sources, it seems like they're no better off now than they were beforehand. He seems really pissed. Good, keep being pissed and while you're at it, personally call John Fox and tell him you'll play for free in Carolina.

-Upon further thought, Ken Lucas STILL isn't 9 million dollars good, no matter how much of a woody he gives Tom Sorensen.

-Free agents I would consider if I was GM of the Panthers and I had more than just spare fucking change under the salary cap:

Cato June
DeWayne Robertson
Khalif Barnes (for line depth)
Kalimba Edwards DE

-Apparently, OT prospect Andre Smith completely shit the bed on his pro day, causing scouts everywhere to comment that he lost an assload of money that day. He apparently did only 19 reps of 225 and ran the 40 in about 5.30 seconds. Oh that isn't the worst part. He apparently ran it shirtless, with his flappy, flabby man tits giggling around. Yuk.

-The Raiders humorously expressed their disdain for Lane Kiffin in a letter to Kiffin's boss in Tennessee. Some crap about undermining Al Davis while he was in Oakland. I didn't realize anybody who was a part of that organization could fucking read, much less write a letter. Oakland is fucking pathetic.

Some miscellaneous stuff...

-Spring break has finally arrived, I think I'm going to get fucking drunk all week.

-Brittanya from Rock of Love Bus is really fucking hot. It's a shame she got eliminated tonight.

-Demetri Martin's show on Comedy Central is fucking hilarious. Go watch it Wednesdays at 10:30 pm.

Tom Sorensen sucks at life, journalism.

2009-03-12T15:06:00.001-07:00

I just couldn't let this piece of garbage get away.

Tom Sorensen manages to reach new lows of pathetic journalism by basically grieving about the departure of Ken Lucas from the Panthers squad and makes a veiled suggestion that the fans started it all and it's their fault he's gone.

It's funny how it works. A cornerback gets burned a few times and fans decide independently and simultaneously that he is a liability and he must go. Carolina cornerback Ken Lucas went Wednesday. The Panthers cut him.

Ok, had all us fans signed off on Lucas' release in the front office, yea, I would probably buy your crappy vengeful ramblings. But the truth is that no fan ever has control or influence on an organization. If teams listened to fans Matt Millen would've been fired a long time ago, Marvin Lewis would be a defensive assistant and Cam Cameron would've been hung by his balls by an angry mob after he drafted Ted Ginn over the QB Wunderkind, Brady Quinn.

They did not cut him because he can't play. They cut him to clear $2.375 million under the salary cap.

Yes, you should realize more than most people, as a beat writer for an NFL team that 24,000 dollars in salary cap space isn't going to afford us even 1 fucking draft pick! What did you think we were going to pay them in soybeans you fucking idiot?

At 30, Lucas is still a good football player. Early in the season, he and Chris Gamble were playing as well as any Carolina cornerback combination ever had. Lucas did slump late. So did the pass rush. Quarterbacks suddenly had time to throw, and they often threw Lucas' way.

LOVE this one. At 30 years old, we are paying a CB with question marks a 9 million dollar figure? Nuh-uh. Oh, also keep in mind, when CBs hit their thirties, they sort of regress and start blowing coverage more and more. Maybe he WAS good, but was he 9 million fucking dollars good?

I'm biased. Lucas is a great guy, smart and unpretentious. He's a different guy, too. He doesn't let you know he's a football player. He isn't one of those guys who introduces himself by saying, "Yes, I do play in the NFL, thanks for asking" even when you didn't ask.

And here it comes, the inevitable "BUT HE'S A GOOD GUY" card. This is the same card that is often used to exempt Jake Delhomme of any responsibility whatsoever after he fucks up a game we would've otherwise had a shot to win. Tom, here's a piece of news for you. Good guys get released all the fucking time, what do you think Lucas is a special case? It's OKAY, HE'LL BE FINE and he'll find work elsewhere, so dry your tears and wipe the runaway snot from your nose.

Lucas loves attention but doesn't want attention. He drove a Rolls Royce Bentley and wondered why Charlotte's pedestrians and drivers would stare in the windows to see who was inside. Tired of the scrutiny, he dumped the Rolls and began driving more pedestrian vehicles -- a Maserati and an orange Range Rover. Hey, he practically disappeared.

Yea this part is just boring and unnecessary. Who gives a fuck if the guy changes vehicles every once in a while?

Now he will disappear, and I hate to see him go. He was popular with his teammates, he desperately wanted to win and he handled the Steve Smith debacle in camp last season with as much grace and class as humanly possible.

Ok, I'll admit, Lucas was fun to watch in the 2005 playoffs when he directed a fellow defensive back over to the jumbotron and started dancing when the replay came on after an interception. But he was the only guy in the locker room stupid enough to buck up to Steve. Mind you, this was a guy who already broke Anthony Bright's nose after being heckled in the film room, so can we really say this all happened without warning? Nuh-uh. That's like approaching a ruthless Camorrista in Naples and telling him to go fuck himself in Italian. What do you think he's going to do to you?

A) Kill you
B) Take you to the warehouse and drive nails into your balls
C) Rip your eye out with a corkscrew.
D) All of the above

Preliminary musing on draft needs.

2009-03-11T17:07:00.000-07:00

I'll take the time one weekend to write up a mock draft but, in the meantime, i got to thinking what do the Panthers exactly need?

The Panthers are walking in the draft with several glaring needs and what do we have to take care of them?

59th overall
93rd overall
4th rounder
5th rounder
6th rounder

Its kinda like being deployed into modern war grounds equipped with a screwdriver, a pocket knife, and a roman candle.

First off lets not think that all of our picks are going to become these superstars in their rookie season. There is a pathetic 14 starts between the last 10 picks of the 2nd round last year. No nobody's going to be an immediate improvement. Compound this problem with the fact that the Panthers have no money to sign free agents and a rock solid schedule with concrete balls, and the 2009 season is looking more and more like we are up shit's creek without a paddle. Carolina must nit and pick on every little detail to get the most value out of what little they have. However, they haven't been known to be the Macgyvers of the NFL draft, and I'm not so confident they start today.

Our needs? (in no particular order)

QB: ALL 3 of our QBs are scheduled for free agency after this year. You know honestly, I'd rather us just let Delhomme go with no contract extensions or re-signings. This team needs to seriously stop looking in the rearview mirror and focus on what's in front of them, and what little time they have until Jake gets even older and starts making what happened in Arizona look like a good game. Its a shame this coaching staff can't evaluate a QB for shit or wouldn't know a franchise signal caller if it was sitting right under their fucking noses but I digress.

Defensive line, defensive line, defensive line: Put Peppers in the equation, you're not even much better off. The pass rush was just not there last season, not consistently. QBs had too much time to throw on this defense and stopping the run was like the eternal struggle for this front four. It's hard for our superstar MLB to be a superstar when Rich Seubert is in his face every fucking play because Gary Gibson simply forgot what a defensive tackle's job is. I'd say DT seriously beats out DE as far as needing help is concerned but DE doesn't look very bright either.

Offensive line depth: Frank Omiyale, Geoff Hangartner. Two of our best line depth players gone to start on other teams. Jeremy Bridges was not very special himself but after him there's just nothing in the talent pool as far as backups go. And when the inevitable Panthers offensive lineman injury sprouts up like it does, many, many, many times in a season we'll feel the pain of weak pass blocking and interior penetration stopping our run game behind the LOS.

that's the biggest 3 needs as I see fit. WR could use a talent influx with Moose's age but I don't think it's worth to fix without getting our future right at QB because Jake doesn't throw to anybody else besides Moose and Smith. Secondary might need help but Meeks' strength is developing a ballhawk back 4 and part of the struggles back there were due to the front four not getting pressure for shit so...

Ken Lucas released (finally some news)

2009-03-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

Lucas is gone

The panthers tried to offload him and his outrageous fucking price tag to another team, and got some offers, but it didn't work. This was only after a trade to Detroit was pretty much all but final and Lucas put the kabosh on it. So the panthers just basically told Lucas to take his selective persnickety ass and go play hide and go fuck himself.

Brief history lesson: Lucas was signed in the 2005 offseason to play in the secondary because all we really had there was Gamble and when they changed the contact rules Ricky Manning had to learn how to play cornerback all over again (he eventually never did) so Lucas was brought in.

In 2005 he played like a madman. 6 ints, he tackled like a linebacker, and only the dumbest QBs (like Brooks Bollinger) dared to throw his way. In 2006 he struggled with injuries, and the next year, he kinda fell off the map completely. Most NFL fans in general know Lucas only as "THaT gUy thAT STeVE SMitH punCHeD DurRRr" by now, that's how obsolete he's become. The Panthers made it clear they are not spending anymore money on somebody who's on the decline.

Peppers creating more problems

2009-03-02T16:09:00.000-08:00

Julius Peppers apparently refuses to sign the franchise tender.

What the fuck are you trying to prove?

The sooner you sign the goddamn thing, the sooner you can get traded so we can get our compensation and you can get a lucrative deal.

This has turned into an all out chess match between Hurney and Peppers now. The game of hardball is being strategically used for both sides so that a stalemate is currently in place. In the end the two may destroy each others' benefit because the Panthers can't do anything with the 16 mil as long as it's tied into Peppers without signing it and in the meantime Peppers is destroying his own reputation as a team player with his childish games.

An open letter to Hurney (Re: Jay Cutler)

2009-02-28T13:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Marty Hurney:

I don't exactly know where you are right now. In the midst of free agency, one of the most important events for a general manager, you're probably popping bottles of Cristal in Saint Lucia and buying call girl services.

It has floated around the NFL world that Jay Cutler is being shopped by Denver in a trade. Now I know how you love Julius Peppers and would rather have him half-disgruntled playing this year on a team than a solid QB, I mean god-forbid anybody challenge the infallible Delhomme. But just think of it for a second. Cutler has a strong arm, has years ahead of him and I never saw him throw 5 picks in a game. Just think about it.

Of course though if you like your QB to totally blow the whole season in the playoffs by all means disregard this message.

The Auction Has Commenced. (RANT ON SNYDER)

2009-02-27T15:48:00.000-08:00

Free agency is well underway. ....you'd even know it if you didn't notice because if you turn on ESPN they're showing free agents and talking about the Redskins and specified dollar amounts.

Dan Snyder continues his legacy of overpaying, or what I call just bending over and letting the FAs take whatever they need and threw up a 100 million dollar deal for a player who hadn't had a better year than his contract year (Haynesworth). But that's not all, they also gave a 50+ million dollar deal to DeAngelo Hall. AND they've been interested in Chris Canty and Ray Willis. Where the fuck do they get enough money under the cap to pull off this shit?

Dan Snyder has ruined free agency for other teams. This fucker has constantly overpaid, which sets the standard asking price higher and higher for players every single fucking year. For teams like my beloved Panthers who want to spend their money wisely and I don't blame them, for instance, Chris Canty, a person that I think would be valuable for the Panthers defensive line if the price was right, will probably get a 40 million dollar deal even though he was pretty much a role player in the Dallas defense, not really a featured guy. It's fucking ridiculous.

Dan Snyder has all but made sure you can't get any value off of top FAs. They're hurting themselves by signing these guys for wayyyy more money than they're actually worth on the field, for instance, Haynesworth is badass but he's not good enough for 32 million this year and the year after alone, but they also kill the negotiating ability for any other club, like the Panthers. Hurney's hands are tied when he's trying to get a mid-tier situational pass rusher and they're asking for a 30 million dollar deal, because well that's the standard asking price and if you look far back enough, the Redskins FO was probably the one that started the trend.

Jeez can this motherfucker just sell his team already and go back to running six flags?

Trim The Fat.

2009-02-25T14:18:00.001-08:00

Goodbye Nick Goings, Jeremy Bridges, and DJ Hackett.

Hurney makes some salary cap moves after a very lucrative week where he re-signed Gross and tagged Peppers probably merely minutes before the 4 pm deadline.

if they were over by 10 million like everybody's been saying, they're pretty much under it by now between the releases which amounted to 4.75 mil, Landon Johnson's restructuring which saved 1 mil, and Gamble's salary cap move which saved 8 mil. Let's take a closer look at some of the guys we let go.

Jeremy Bridges came in 2006 2 games in because our offensive line collectively decided that, "HEY!! You know what?! This year seems like a good year to get injured!!!". He put together nothing special but as we all know anything short of completely shitting the bed buys you a roster spot in John Fox's eyes.

So the next year they tried him out at guard. ...bad idea. This guy is not an interior linemen at all. I know it's not often you see okay tackles who are awful guards instead of the more common okay guards who are awful tackles, but Jeremy was a special case. He continued his poor play there into the 2008 season when the inevitable injury bug finally arrived to help ruin yet another Panthers season, despite being Axl Rose-like late, and RG Keydrick Vincent was IRed by the dreaded groin strain. That has to be the worst kind of injury. He also ran into trouble off the field a few times.

DJ Hackett, the Wunderkind. I'm not German, but I'll take an estimated guess and translate that as Wonderkid, "Kid" as in "young player", and "Wonder" as in "I wonder when this fucker will ever heal from his weak ass injury and play a fucking game already". Hackett was highly regarded, even by me, when he left Seattle and came over here. He chose us over at least 2 other teams. At first, things were looking good, then one night, he stubbed his toe on a vanity unit and was out for like 6 weeks. He was like the Dan Morgan of WRs.

Nick Goings, AKA Mr. Fix it. This guy was a bit more than a role player/lunch pail career backup, but he also had a smile, and in Pantherland, you get a big following with a little bit of charm, I mean, because production is soooo totally overrated, right?

He had one decent year that put him on the map in 2004, when Davis's age caught up with him and DeShaun Foster broke his foot because his bones are made out of cathedral glass. He put up over 800 rushing yards which was pretty good, but one season does not make a player. Add in the fact that he was susceptible to concussions. Never good.

...something tells me I'm not going to miss these guys. Saying goodbye to an injury prone WR, a troubled OL, and a backup FB. ...Now lets go get Tony Fiammetta out of Syracuse.

It's Crunch Time

2009-02-18T22:20:00.001-08:00

Like a college student cramming the day before the exam, it looks like Hurney is yet again gonna try to push our desires through at the last minute, like he always does. Sign Gross before the 4PM deadline today and it's pretty much a foregone conclusion to tag Peppers.

Hurney likes to make things like this interesting for the fanbase, but why the fuck do we want shit like this to be interesting? Much better to get this done in a timely fashion.

So make it fucking happen already.

Peppers' Wish list

2009-02-18T16:51:00.001-08:00

JP is becoming a real malignant blob of dick butter, pretty much pulling out all the stops he can to avoid getting the franchise tag put on him.

I would've never believe someone if they told me before the season began that this socially-backwards introverted goofball would swing his dick around in the media and talk about how much he doesn't want to play in Carolina anymore.

In his latest development, someone close to him mentioned he wanted to be traded to only four teams, one of them being the Dallas Cowboys.

Gee, I wonder what the thought process was for him to want to be in dallas...

"UgH, iT's AMeriCa'S TeAM anD DEy Won fIvE SUpeRBowlS!!!!11!!"

First of all, if they even would consider trading for you, they wouldn't stick you in at OLB because they don't really need one you shithead. If anything they'd put you at DE because of the departure of Chris Canty. Secondly, what the fuck does Dallas have to trade to us they've got no first rounder and the Panthers could very well use a first round for compensation. Peppers is just aimlessly hurling shit at the wall and hoping that something sticks because we all know what happens when players are challenged to stay true to their word in the past. They back down. See Chicago-Lance Briggs for reference.

It's funny Dallas was one of the only teams mentioned. Peppers if you ever played there the media would slander you every game you didn't show up. It's a different media out there and they actually expect their players to be vocal leaders and produce and not take plays/games/seasons off, and the minute you fail they are going to be right there to kick you while your down. And after that happens what will be the status of your fragile morale and motivation? You'll wish you were back in Charlotte and hope the nightmare ends.

I can't help but think Carl Carey is in his ear with all this bullshit. If he was standing near me right now I'd drive nails into his balls with a nailgun and stick bamboo skewers under his fingernails.

look at this (Gross update)

2009-02-17T08:24:00.000-08:00

here

Adam Schefter reports that Gross and the Panthers made significant progress on a deal, which should be made within the next few days. ...Schefter probably reported this an hour before any of the Charlotte beat writers got on their Hannah Montana laptops to write up a blog. I'm serious, they really make that shit.

...Stan Olson cleans his daily with a paper towel and some eyeglass cleaner. The deal is reported to be around the neighborhood of 9 mil a year. Sounds like a lot, but then again, we paid Peppers way more than that the past two years to not show up on the field for half the games. At least you know Gross brings it, and he's a LT. Those are kind of hard to find.

With that taken care of, if we can sign him by Thursday we can slap the tag on Peppers and work on shipping his goofy ass and his pine-cone personality to another team for a first round pick. Hope they don't expect him to move mountains for them and become a vocal leader, or do anything more than show up for 8 games a season, otherwise, they're sure to be disappointed.

Panthers sign assistant coach that nobody's ever heard of.

2009-02-13T19:38:00.001-08:00

...well his name's Brian Baker. At least we were able to get that.

Baker worked in St. Louis most recently. That's TWO former assistant coaches hired off St Louis. That's fucking awesome right there, assuming the Rams defense was actually a feared one. ...but it isn't.

Seriously this is the best you could do? I mean c'mon, there's a shitload of college coaches to look at. I mean get on the horn, get some of these defensive coordinators from these schools in for an interview, I'm sure if you make 50 calls you might get at least one guy who wants to make some more money in the pros. Sunseri was a decent Dline coach and he came from the college level before he got the job.

So now, conceivably our two weak spots on defense, DBs and DL, have had position coaches leave, and instead of getting someone better, all we did was pretty much make a lateral move at best.

...this guy better have some fucking unbeatable secret to getting to the QB.

10 Best Fox/Hurney Draft Picks

2009-02-13T15:41:00.000-08:00

As promised, a continuation of my countdowns.

TEN BEST

10. Jonathan Stewart RB (2008, 1st round)-Stewart burst on to the scene in 2008 becoming the best rookie RB drafted in the first round that year. He outperformed Darren McFadden and Felix Jones, and Rashard Mendehall was put on IR with Pittsburgh. J-Stew consistently broke tackles and ran MFers over while running the ball, his 836 yard first year is a little bit less than DeShaun Foster's career high, which is interesting considering Foster got his yards getting the ball handed to him most of the game, while Stewart spent much of his time as the complement back to DeAngelo Williams. His awesome rookie campaign is only the beginning of what I hope is a very good career for him.

9. Ryan Kalil C (2007, 2nd round)-Kalil struggled early on when the Panthers put him in at RG I think, when Hartwig was still around in 2007. Last year, however, he broke out of his shell and became a reliable blocker for us. It's looking more and more like the perception of him being the best center to come out of school in ten years is proving true.

8. Richard Marshall CB (2006, 2nd round)-Marshall was called upon early and often in his career. His rookie season he looked better than a lot of starting CBs when Lucas was banged up throughout the year and he had to fill in. He's not really improved from there but he still has plenty of time to turn around and become a ballhawk.

7. Chris Gamble CB (2004, 1st round)-Gamble was drafted and immediately started ahead of the CBs we had the year before. He had 6 picks his first year and like 7 his second. Then he had a bad year in 2006, but he's rebounded very well, and his intentions are really good for us. He re-signed real easy during the season, the only guy of the "BIG 3" to do so far.

6. Travelle Wharton OL (2004, 3rd round)-Travelle's been a starter his whole career with the exception of 2006 where he blew out his knee and was out for the year. It turned out to be a bad loss, since line play wasn't very good overall that year. He started at LT in 2005 but his best fit is inside a little at LG. He was a very big reason the Panthers running game was so successful this year and I hope that's only the beginning.

5. Julius Peppers DE (2002, 1st round)-Julius would be higher if he wanted to stay here but that's his choice. Regardless he is still a top 5 Panthers draft pick, and performed very well, ...most of the time. He holds the all time sack record with the Panthers, though that's not saying much since the Panthers haven't been around for that long.

4. Jordan Gross OT (2003, 1st round)-Jordan has been nothing but a consistent key cog anchor in the Panthers offense. As a matter of fact he's the only lineman who's been with us throughout the superbowl run and still here today. That could very well change since his status on returning is still pending. But here's hoping he accepts an extension and we can see him on the field again next year protecting our QB and blocking for Smash and Dash.

TOP 3

3. Will Witherspoon LB (2002, 3rd round)-For where he was drafted Will turned out to be a very good linebacker and reliable too. Overall he was better than Dan Morgan when you consider how many games they were able to start. He and Morgan side by side made an excellent tandem, ...when Morgan was actually on the field. In choosing between Dan and Will, the Panthers went with Morgan, they made a mistake and gave him the contract, so Witherspoon walked and got a deal with the Rams where they can't win a game because nobody else there has talent. ...cept for maybe Torry Holt but he's getting up there in the age dept.

2. DeAngelo Williams RB (2006, 1st round)-DWill staked his claim as the best runningback of that 2006 class by running for the highest yardage total out of any of them in their careers and scoring like 20 touchdowns. He was like the Steve Smith of runningbacks this last year, and the best one the Panthers have ever had so far. Hopefully, he can consistently be productive and continue to emerge as one of the premier backs in the league.

1. Jon Beason LB (2007, 1st round)-Here he is ruining Terrell Owens' life haha. Beason quickly emerged as one of the best MLBers in the entire league, very early on. In my opinion he's outperformed Willis so far in his career, and is far better than Posluszny in Buffalo. He's an outstanding cover linebacker, extremely reliable in the tackling department, and best of all, he brings it every single play. He's got one of the best motors in the NFL. The point of drafting Beason I think was to try to bring that Witherspoon/Morgan dynamic back into play, but he's better than both of them, and he's tough as nails. Another great trait of him is that he's a terrific leader on the field, he's the defense's mouthpiece and rightly so.

10 Worst draft picks of the Fox/Hurney era.

2009-02-12T17:34:00.001-08:00

With nfl draft-mania approaching soon, I've decided to compile a 2 part comprehensive list of draft picks the Panthers have made real hits with, and also the real misses they've made over the years. Let's get started with the bad news bears of the Panthers' drafting since '02.

TEN WORST

10. Ryne Robinson WR/RS (2007: 4th Round)- In 2006, the Panthers boasted a horrible return game. They could've used DeAngelo Williams but putting their first round pick on special teams was just an unnecessary risk. They ended up putting Gamble on punt returns replacing Steve Smith, and he did horribly. They put Nick Goings in KR, but he was not anything more than a stop gap there. Enter Ryne Robinson, he was pretty much drafted to take their place. ...He did such a good job the Panthers decided to replace him there with Mark Jones after only a year. Talk about your failures. Now we've got a WR who isn't good at returning punts/kickoffs and isn't good at receiving either. I smell a cut this offseason.

9.Mike Seidman TE (2003: 3rd round)- All Panthers fans talked about the 4 years he was here was that he was going to replace Mangum and catch 50 passes a year and be better than Wesley Walls. But he could never stay healthy. After averaging a little more than 4 receptions a year, the Panthers cut their losses in 2006.

8. Nate Salley S (2006: 4th round)- The Panthers picked up this safety who wasn't on anybody's radar in the middle of the draft one year, then a year later, decided, "HEY! Lets start this guy! He's got Potential!" I mean, it seemed like a good idea. All he had to compete with was Deke Cooper, Mr. Ballhawk Extraordinaire. He was slowly but surely improving during Training Camp 07. ...then he blew out his knee. Hasn't done a thing since.

7. Bruce Nelson C (2003: 2nd round)- Nelson was one of the top Centers in the 2003 draft. That year the Panthers were taking a real "get stronger on the line" initiative. They drafted Bruce to be an eventual replacement for Jeff Mitchell, who was in the twilight of his career. He started ONE game in his career. Hip injuries were his downfall, and I think that was also a question mark also coming out of college. The worst busts are ones that you can see from a mile away. Bruce is retired now.

6. Evan Mathis OG (2005: 3rd round)-Mathis was drafted by Carolina, played as backup for a year, and then was pushed to be a starter for 2006. In training camp, Mathis was touted by a few fans and beatwriters alike as "one of the strongest linemen on the team". He failed miserably, and the revolving door at Right Guard continued the next year. He plays in Cincinnati now, ....as a backup.

5. Stefan Lefors QB (2005: 4th round)-Lefors was probably drafted by the Panthers because he was somehow related to Jake Delhomme. He was, I guess, a half-hearted attempt at an heir to starting QB in the future. He was outperformed in preseason play by an undrafted rookie just a year later. He plays Canadian Football right now and starts for some team I don't care to look up because it's just the CFL.

4. Randy Fasani QB (2002: 5th round)-I don't know if it's just the talent they pick or McCoy but the QB position for the Panthers was never one to churn out prolific passers. Fasani received a lot of playing time for a rookie in 2002 and put up a pathetic 15-44 for 171 yards, 0 touchdowns and 4 interceptions. After that he went team-hopping and got cut everytime, so he finally left football and became a cop. ...At least he ended up doing something productive with himself.

3. Keary Colbert WR (2004: 2nd round)-As far as bust possibility was concerned Colbert's first year in the league suggested he wasn't anywhere near that question. As a matter of fact he was so good in 2004 when Moose's contract expired in the 2005 offeason and he wanted more money Hurney basically told him "haha go fuck off" and went with the younger option to start opposite Steve Smith. What do you think happens? He catches 30 passes his next 2 years. As a starter in 2005, he was so horrible DeShaun Foster had more receptions and yards than he did. In 2006, he was pretty much buried in the depth chart. After 2007 the Panthers basically let him loose to go as a free agent. He signed a 7 million dollar deal with Denver and was traded to Seattle that same season. How does he keep getting work?

2. Eric Shelton RB (2005: 2nd round)-In a best-case scenario Eric Shelton is the starting running back for the Panthers and be the new Jamal Lewis. He had the size at 245 lbs. He was one of the better prospects. But he failed miserably. He somehow ended up on IR before the regular season even began in his first season. I mean look at his career stats: 8 carries, 23 yards for a 2.9 yard average. Worst part about this is when you consider the running backs drafted after him. Brandon Jacobs, Frank Gore, Marion Barber III. One of those guys is the best pure power back in the league, the other two are probowlers. Not to mention, we swapped 2nd rounders with Seattle that year. They got Lofa Tatupu with our pick, another Probowler.

AND THE NO.1 BIGGEST FAILURE....

1. DeShaun Foster RB (2002: 2nd round)-Foster was drafted top of the 2nd round in 2002, ahead of Clinton Portis, who pretty much is an annual shoe-in for the pro bowl, and if you ask me, I would've sent Foster's under-achieving ass to Washington/Denver just to have Southeast Jerome. NOT Portis, but just one of his schizo personalities would've done more good for this organization than Foster. Panther fans waited year after year for this guy's "breakout" season, but it never happened. He never even sniffed 1000 yards in a regular season. He has more career fumbles than touchdowns. He constantly struggled with injuries. He was terrible near the goal line. Flashes of breakaway games were few and far between, surrounded by poor, ineffective performances. I guess what I'm trying to say is he was pretty fucking terrible.

The Panthers gave this guy every opportunity they could and he never stepped up to the challenge. He is the #1 Panthers bust but he does hold the distinction of making one of the toughest runs in Panther history against Philadelphia in the 2003 conference championship game, in spite of the other 99% of his career which suggested he did not have any power at all. Foster now plays in San Francisco, where he's continuing his legacy of not hitting the hole well and not dropping his pads and turning the ball over on the west coast.

Tune in tomorrow when I list the 10 best Fox/Hurney draft picks in Panthers history! (I would've combined the two in one post but this is getting too fucking long)

2009 Forecast: 70% Chance of a Fall From Grace

2009-02-11T15:34:00.000-08:00

If 2008's Panthers motto was "Believe in NOW!", 2009's should be "HUNKER DOWN PANTHERS!!!"

Not only are we losing an all-pro defensive end and maybe our anchor left tackle, but even other things just don't get easier for us.

"Why?" you ask? Well, let's take a look at who we're playing

NY Giants (12-4)
Atlanta x2 (11-5)
Miami (11-5)
New England (11-5)
Minnesota (10-6)
Philadelphia (9-6-1)
Arizona (9-7)
Dallas (9-7)
NY Jets (9-7)
Tampa Bay x2 (9-7)
New Orleans x2 (8-8)
Washington (8-8)
Buffalo (7-9)

I really hate the scheduling system they use sometimes. How the fuck did this happen? The worst team we face is Buffalo, which is pretty much average. ...yea. This fucking sucks. What kind of crack rock are they smoking to put us up against pretty much every playoff team and teams that probably would've been champs in other divisions?

Lets now gaze into my crystal ball and see what the future has in store...

Okay, lets start with the division. I'm gonna go with a lukewarm 3-3 here. Why? The Bucs are prime for a free fall. Every year their defense gets older and older, they're bound for another plunge, especially with a Head Coach who was a fucking defensive backs assistant 2 months ago. The Saints, well, we seem to match up well with them, but I'm gonna say we split here. Atlanta will probably sweep us if Matt Ryan can avoid the sophomore slump.

NFC East, yea, it gets way worse here. Lets see, we can't beat Dallas, we can't beat Philly, we used to be able to handle the Giants but that changed recently. We'll probably go 1-3 here with the sole win a slugfest with Washington that we barely eek out of on top. I hate this fucking division.

Intraconference. Okay, lets see, Minnesota always beats our ass so we can forget about winning that one. And Arizona, well, hopefully our NFC West game is at like week 15, because by that time, Arizona will be known as one of the worst teams in the NFL like the other 3 NFC West teams that end up drafting in the top ten every year, or they will have the division already wrapped up and by then resting their starters. NFL's going to probably schedule this game late in the season. We'll probably get our revenge.

And the AFC East. Hmmmm, Brady's return to NE. Loss. We've never beaten Miami, and Parcells has our number and he's an exec there. That's a loss. We'll beat Buffalo and the Jets though to go .500 against the other conference for the year.

All that equates to....7-9!!! Yay!!! Not good enough to make the playoffs, not bad enough to realize the weak links on the team and properly take care of them. And if half the team gets injured, Foxy fans can declare this year a mulligan that won't count against Fox's record, just like 2007 didn't count and 2006 and 2004 didn't count. Also, considering the schedule, they'll probably even consider this season a success because we didn't go 1-15. YAY! No 1-15!!! That's better than winning the division or going to the superbowl!!! Not going 1-15 is the pinnacle of he NFL baby!!!

-----Some Panther fans will see the silver lining in ANY cloud.

Update: Assistant coach hirings.

2009-02-10T17:01:00.000-08:00

Panthers.com and other team news outlets are reporting that the Panthers have found their LB and DB coaches.

The news just came out a few hours ago today, which means, knowing the reporting abilities of the Charlotte area Panthers writers, they probably actually filled those positions 2 weeks ago.

Richard Smith has been announced as 'backers coach to replace Ken "Holy" Flajole. He coached as defensive coordinator previously for the Texans, and was just fired after this season. Here's a picture...

...He looks more like he'd be a DL coach, right? Just the sheer weight of him makes it seem that way. But hey, supposedly, he preaches discipline, and we definitely could use a little more of that on the defense.

The other guy, Ron Milus, worked as DBs coach in New York under Tim Lewis when he was shitting the bed at defensive coordinator there. Well that's just fucking dandy, he's probably gonna tell the DBs to do the exact same shit Tim told them. I certainly hope not though.

...lets ask John Fox about this new situation...

...yea.

For your morning entertainment: Bitches don't know....

2009-02-10T08:36:00.000-08:00

...about his zone coverage.

LOL I just saw that pic and whipped this one up real quick. Hope it made you chuckle.

Gross/Hurney at Stalemate, plus Panthers tidbits

2009-02-09T23:26:00.000-08:00

Gross's agent says the two sides aren't getting closer to any deal yet. And with Gross's pro bowl performance come and gone, his kung-fu grip on Hurney's balls get tighter and tighter.

In other "news", Steve Smith led the NFC in receiving yards, with 89. Oh how coincidental. Peppers recorded an interception, picking off Denver QB Jay Cutler in the pro bowl as well. And I think the last time he did that, ....was against a Denver QB. He also had a sack and a handful of tackles. Nice pro-bowl performance, but could we have asked him to put a game like that together in the regular season, instead of waiting till the probowl to show off because we know he actually has a little bit of motive now that he's looking for another team? Probably not.

-Beason played MLB like a fucking buzzsaw, as usual. No surprise there, he did so good they had to put Willis in at OLB, they just couldn't take him out. This kid's probably got one of the best motors in the league.

-If you go to the Panthers shop website Ken Lucas's jersey is on sale, ...at the same price as Julius Peppers. Wonder what they're trying to tell us there.

-In other prospective castaways news the Raiders are rumored to release Michael Huff, safety very soon. Most of you remember Michael Huff from back in the 2006 draft, before he was selected by the Raiders and sucked into obscurity, never to really be heard from again. At this point in his career Huff is still young and is pretty good at coverage, but his tackling is an issue. I'm pretty sure it's more the Raiders' crappy coaching staff and their revolving door at head coach than it is Huff. See if we can pick him up cheap, put Godfrey at nickle and make Meeks turn this kid into the ballhawk we saw when he played for the Longhorns.

-Still no developments on any assistant coach hirings.

...that's about it. LOL

Jordan Gross: Does he want to get off the bus now?

2009-02-08T00:07:00.001-08:00

It has come to my attention and I have found several mistakes in some of my previous posts. Little mistakes that get overlooked in putting all the pieces together of a post when I have a lot of ideas and try to crunch them down to efficient statements. I should fucking proofread better in the future.

But on to the topic at hand. NFL fans, you know what's coming. It's that miserable time of the year between the Superbowl and the NFL Combine (who gives a shit about the probowl) where nothing real interesting happens, and the highlight of the football column is which Schmo got extended or re-signed.

Panthers GM Marty Hurney, who oversees all of the personnel contract relations, is currently in negotiations with Jordan Gross and his agent (who that is I have no fucking clue). Mind you, Gross' returning to the team long-term has been pending since even last year, when he rejected a contract clause, which would've made him a free agent in 2008 had the Panthers not franchised him. -----Since all the way back then he didn't know if he wanted to stay here, and a year and a half later we're still in that fucking level.

What could be going through Gross' mind? Could it be a change of scenery attracting him?? Could it be the prospect of working with new people? Could it be the prospect of working with a team that actually wants to improve at certain weak positions and who's coach isn't a stubborn fucking mule? (I won't divulge) Could it be that he was looking forward to re-signing when Fox was on the gravy train with biscuit wheels and doing good, you know, before that whole wreck on January 10?

We know we're going to lose our franchise DE. Peppers feels like getting exhausted and caught out of position routinely as a 3-4 OLB and missing tackles and playing sloppy because he doesn't have the energy or coordination required or to pass rush one play, drop in coverage the next, and repeat the process. .....and now we don't know if we're going to lose our franchise Left Tackle in Gross.

So in the 2009 Panthers offseason, so far, our entire defensive staff went to other cities, some of them even for a demotion. Our star DE wants out and last year we traded a disgruntled defensive tackle in Jenkins to the Jets for a 3rd and a 5th, and I don't think we got value out of that trade player-wise. If Gross decides to leave now, Hurney might as well drink a bottle of Listerine and call it a life.

Upon Further Review....

2009-02-07T13:41:00.000-08:00

Last night, I wrote the blog below which pretty much panned Jake Delhomme and all followers. Over sleep and a hangover, I took some time to consider the mess that is our QB, and, focus, maybe, just maybe on the positives. I tried, like, .....real hard, and I almost convinced myself that, you know, maybe I'm being a little too harsh on the guy. I decided to youtube "jake delhomme+highlights" to try and commemorate a good year/career compared to "one bad game". Then I found this. Holy fucking shitballs...

Jake in Arizona game

Hmmmm, lot of forced throws, a lot of misread coverage schemes, bad decisions, poorly thrown passes,... so it's basically like every third Jake Delhomme game. Only this was the worst of them all.

The most important thing we can take from this experience is that it's most certainly not the first time he's played like this.... in 2008. 4 interceptions against Oakland, 3 interceptions against Tampa Bay. Even without throwing picks in the Minnesota game he was ineffective.

*sigh*

Panthers' QB Situation per Gantt. (permission to pull your hair out granted)

2009-02-06T23:08:00.000-08:00

Darin Gantt has, I think, completely evolved into a bumbling Fox yes-man. He wrote this article about Panthers fans "QB dreams"....

...

Well if you don't feel like reading it or got so sick of the verbal hand job he gave Delhomme you vomited all over your keyboard, I'll give a recap.

There is a segment of the Panthers fan-base that's irate with Jake Delhomme and ready to replace him with just about anybody. But the reality is, the Panthers QB depth chart is likely to look extremely familiar next year.

...no shit. C'mon Gantt my 5 year old cousin could've told you that they'd walk in with the same fucking QBs. "Replace him with just about anybody" like there's no complexity about the situation. If I wanted to replace Jake with anybody I'd suggest fucking David Carr. That's when you say we'd want to replace him with "anybody".

Basanez said the Panthers offered him a contract before he chose the clean slate offered by his hometown Bears. From the Panthers perspective, that would have brought back the top four spots on the depth chart from last season. If they were serious about bringing in a challenger for the top job, would they have bothered clogging up the works by trying to bring last year's practice-squadder back?

Gee, I don't know Gantt, maybe because there's this thing called "competition" and, you know, you kind of bring in more players than you would require to test them out, and you know, pick the best option at the end?

Gantt contradicts himself here. First he talks about bringing in a challenger to Jake Delhomme and then he says bringing back a practice squad caliber player will muddle that process. What the fuck? You really think they'd guarantee Brett a damn roster spot if they had a few guys that were better?

Delhomme, Josh McCown and Matt Moore are all under contract through 2009. And personally, I think it's more likely Delhomme gets an extension this offseason than shown the door.

Holy shit Gantt you really went on a limb there with that Delhomme prediction didn't you? Did you visit a fucking gypsy to help you come up with that?

We'll see, but all those folks wondering about Matt Cassell or Derek Anderson or whatever "next best thing," they see in the draft shouldn't hold their breath.

Aha, funny. Good one there Darin. I honestly don't know if you're reluctantly making that prediction knowing we're fucked or you still are infatuated with Delhomme like the other 65% of the fanbase are still blindly committed to after that shitter he dropped in the playoffs.

Darin may be better than those idiot Observer bloggers but his tendency to stroke the players/coaches egos even after poor performance really tire me. Seriously, 31 other teams would be out to replace Jake's crawdad ass after turning the fucking ball over 6 times, but this is Pantherland, where there's no accountability whatsoever and we just waltz in the fucking door doing the same fucking dance we did last night.

As a matter of fact I think I can sum up the ol' yearly player evaluation Fox writes up...

Player: Jake Delhomme
#: 17
Pos: QB
Analysis: Well, he turned the ball over 6 times in the playoffs, ...in one game, but he should be QB because after all, at 34 he's still young, with his rebuilt elbow, and he led us to 3 playoff berths and it is what it is.

That's what I don't get. Delhomme's entire body of work, according to John Fox, is probably grossly generalized by the fact that he led us to a superbowl and 2 NFCC games. How about the fact that his last 2 playoff games he turned the fucking ball over 9 times? Does that even make a a cameo in your fucking thought process, John? Didn't think so. I'm so sick of that bullshit SB/NFCC appearance cop out all it does is stop us from giving the idea of benching Jake a second thought. Gee, I wonder how many Bears fans are pissed that Lovie Smith doesn't start Rex Grossman because he, too, led them to a superbowl. No matter how bad he sucks or how much he turns the damn ball over.

Darin is a real trip. He probably reads the carolinahuddle, which I am a featured member of, (pat on shoulder), sees anger in posts, sips his Earl Grey, strokes his chin, and makes these smug write-ups with a grin like he thinks his shit doesn't stink. You know, maybe there's a logical reason behind this madness Darin?

Ever hear of the giant Elephant in the room?

The Panthers' QB Situation is the big fucking elephant in the room. ...And I guess John Fox would be that blue-shirted baboon ass right in front of the elephant. Oh you guys, Foxy, Gantt, Hurney, etc, you guys don't feel the effects now, but when every year feels like the 2007 season pretty soon, you're going to be hoping that "next best thing" drops to you in the draft. Delhomme is serviceable at best, and last I checked, serviceable QBs don't win fucking superbowls and haven't since fucking Trent Dilfer and Brad Johnson. Every time the running game was shut down, Delhomme couldn't do a fucking thing. Even with Steve Smith and the savvy Moose running routes, his inaccuracy, errant throws, poor decisions, and tendency to force the ball in coverage have ultimately defeated him.

He should be fucking grateful he plays on the only team in the entire league that routinely tolerates this kind of unacceptable garbage play because they are so fucking stupid sometimes. So grateful he restructures his pay for league minimum, because he certainly didn't earn a fucking thing throwing it to Rogers-Cromartie all damn game.

Darin Gantt thinks we're irate at Jake for no reason. When week 1 comes and he still can't complete a pass then we'll see if there's still "no reason".

The Peppers Trade Proposal Extravaganza

2009-02-05T21:07:00.000-08:00

Once Peppers has the tag slapped on him, which should happen soon, we'll probably never know the proposals teams put forth except for the one that Marty Hurney authorizes. Sure one or two may get out, but you know there will be teams just giving a half-assed effort at it just to see if we would actually bite. You know, like "hEy We'LL gIVe yoU A tHird RoUNdeR aNd A mOuNDs BaR fOR PePPErS!" <-----shut the fuck up.

Between Peppers freakish athletic stature and formidable range and pass rushing skills, combined with his tendency to take games off (see vs. Denver 2008) or years off (see 2007) his age, (29) and his lack of either leadership capabilities or simply a voice box, it's hard to gauge exactly where he might end up. One could just assume that any trade is possible, from one that can really delight you or piss you off, depending on which team you root for.

Proposition #1: Julius Peppers to Denver for 12th overall pick in the draft. Well, no doubt this would be the talk of the announcer's table at the NFL draft. Denver's defense is piss-fucking-poor and they happen to be switching to a 3-4 this year, which is the preferred defense Peppers would like to join. Plus they're a contender, so Julius shouldn't bark at this one at all. From Denver's perspective, they get a freak of nature DE/OLB to build their defense around, much like the Panthers were able to do when they drafted him in 2002. From the Panthers perspective, they cashed in on an investment and got a really valuable pick for him in return. Peppers is no spring chicken, but Jason Taylor went for a 2nd rounder last year, and he's like 1000 years old. What could the Panthers do with that pick? ...probably draft Michael Johnson, you know, Mr. Massive Question Mark and force me to throw my hat at the television and hurl insults at the screen.

Proposition #2: Julius Peppers + 4th round pick to Green Bay for 9th overall pick. Mike Trgocrap now works in Green Bay as a DLine coach, so his connection with Peppers could help him lobby for the Packers to pull the trigger, assuming people actually listen to what Trgovac has to say. (crazy thought, right?) Plus, again, Green Bay is just another team looking to convert to 3-4 action. That trade would propel us into the top ten and in comparison to the Denver prop, all we'd have to give up in addition is a 4th rounder. When the fuck has a 4th round draft pick ever panned out for the Panthers?

Proposition #3: Julius Peppers to Washington for 13th overall pick. NFL Rule of thumb # 192903: No list of prospective high profile trades for a player is complete without mentioning Washington as one of the suitors. It's just a rule of thumb. I guess Dan Snyder sees a player he likes on another team and his dick gets hard and he just has to have that player. The Skins are not shy to trade any draft pick for a player, they will readily do it, because unlike most teams, they like to build through free agency. ...I don't know why, because it's so much more expensive that way, but they're stupid and I guess they just want to sell jerseys so whatever.

Proposition #4: Julius Peppers + Ken Lucas to Oakland for 7th overall and 3rd round pick. Hey........when your owner is Al Davis anything is possible. That would make for the biggest trade in the entire offseason, or recent memory. Pull off this type of deal and Rich Eisen will look on with shock and awe, Chris Mortensen will look on with a shit eating grin on his face like he knew the whole thing was going to happen all along and Mel Kiper's head will spin and steam will shoot out from his ears until his stone-hard fucking helmet head blows off his neck, flies into the crowd, and kills a fan. Panthers get a top ten selection and a 3rd round pick to tinker with later on. Al Davis is a demented fucking lunatic who should retire but is unconciously keeping the Raiders in a shithole. The guy should be popping Geritol and sitting on his armchair watching Green Acres and going to sleep at 6:30 PM but instead he's walking around in black Raiders jackets and getting into media wars with Lane Kiffin, -----who could probably beat the shit out of his old ass. Since Oakland could use some secondary help with Nnamdi hitting the market and cutting DeAngelo Hall loose in the middle of the season, the Panthers could throw Lucas in to sweeten the deal and draft a cornerback later on with that third round pick.

Proposition #5: Julius Peppers + Panthers 2nd round pick to Detroit for 20th overall and 2nd round pick. Detroit screams "FAIL". Peppers wouldn't be too happy about it, but fuck him, we payed him an assload of cash. Who knows. As for who I would select in those picks. Well.... Stafford and Sanchez are interchangeable. I look at some of the mocks, some people have Stafford ahead, some would have Sanchez ahead. I would personally prefer Stafford on experience alone but I'd be happy to take Mark. Maualuga tops my list of defensive players from where'd we pick. He has the size and speed to rush the passer and he's just a fucking beast. Imagine for a second having Davis, Beason, and Maualuga line up side by side. Now just contain your uncontrollable enthusiasm before your family has you committed. Everette Brown is the only first round DE I'd take a chance on.

...but of course the Panthers don't take QBs. They'll be just fine going into week one with Delhomme in there ready to throw interceptions again. The other two they would probably agree with taking. I can't complain about their judgment overall on first rounders though. Even if they stockpile talent at the same position they've consistently panned out for the most part. I just think we need a fucking QB, period. And with the kind of running game we have, plus the most prolific WR in the game and a savvy vet, PLUS Rip Scherer as a QBs coach, Stafford or Sanchez shouldn't have as much a problem transitioning to the pro level as Jamarcus Russell or Matt Leinart.

....only time will tell....

....Nothing going on....yet.....

2009-02-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

Well it's been a few days since my last news roundup and no new developments whatsoever. Uh, yea. But that could change very shortly.

Tomorrow is February 5. On that day, the Franchise Tag period begins. Which means that the Panthers have until the 19th to slap that tag on Peppers, and put him on the market for sale. Hopefully, we get a nice big fish to bite, AKA, a first round draft pick in return. Until then, I will keep you updated, regularly, as much as possible. I'm so dedicated I've hired a cracked team of web investigators to scour the internet, call up a few team sources, and find out anything they can.

They're not the most coherent bunch, but they're more competent than the Observer's blog writers.

John Fox's Double Talkin' Jive

2009-02-02T18:14:00.000-08:00

The bleacher report made this article that I got a kick out of.

basically the synopsis is analyzing Fox's baseless, effortless, careless answers to questions made by the press, in patronizing fashion. Many people in the Carolinahuddle board have said the answers are just mindless fodder for the press and his effortless answers and the Panthers' seemingly effortless lousy performances sometimes are only a coincidence.

What the press lacks is an interpreter. Someone who knows how to decipher this crap that comes out of his mouth that makes no sense sometimes you either think he is a moron or he's just telling you to go fuck yourself without being so curt. So I went into the archives at Panthers.com and dug up this article after the Panthers awful loss against Arizona, a team that they had beaten 5 consecutive times, including once in the 2008 regular season, and in a stadium they had previously been undefeated in that year.

On his message to the players at the final team meeting: We had a great season and a bad game. Unfortunately, it occurred when it did. But walk out of here with your head up high. All in all it was a heck of a season with a lot of good things. It's a good core of players to move forward with.

(Translated): Who gives a fuck if we lost we went 12-4 and as long as I reached that 3-1 goal I like to make every year, I'm happy as a fat fucking guy in White Castle. We lost but 12-4 is 12-4.

On how he would characterize this year's team: A very high-character team. I think probably as fun a year as I've ever had in coaching. It was a good combination of guys, coaches. It was a heck of a bunch to coach.

(Translated): We all got along like pigs and a fucking mud pit. Oh man all the fun times we've had. We played hopscotch on our days off, went to Applebees for lunch when the restaurant wasn't that busy and asked for a table of 60, and watched spongebob cartoons.

On if he had a chance to talk to quarterback Jake Delhomme about his game: Yeah. He had a bad game. He didn't have a bad season. He's not a bad quarterback. He had a bad game. It happens.

(Translated): Listen, Jake is my QB. He could've thrown 8 interceptions in 8 consecutive pass attempts and I'd still send his ass out there to the huddle because he's my guy, and benching him for someone else would not make him my guy anymore. It would make me a cheater, an unfaithful cheater I tell ya. I like to apply the sanctity of marriage in my relationship with my QB. You don't cheat on your wife and you don't cheat on your QB. Jake and I hold a sacred bond that I'd rather him throw his way to 0-16 than get a competent signal caller, because having Jake Delhomme as a QB is more important than winning.

On if he expects Delhomme to be a scapegoat for the loss: I suspect like any loss we all become scapegoats. But that's part of it, and we just move forward.

The fans want people fired to bring improvement. We don't do that here. We like to bang our heads against the wall repeatedly with undying persistence using the same strategy it doesn't matter if it's clearly not working and I'm starting to get a concussion and a subdural hematoma. Listen the fans are stupid. They're always wrong, ...because they're fans. It doesn't even matter if they're right, they're still wrong just because they're fans.

On if there was anything that happened that led to Delhomme's five interceptions: Having not seen the tape yet, I can't really speak to that. Probably the sack-fumble was a bigger play than the interceptions, because I think that gave them life. We started great. Even with a kickoff out of bounds early, we knocked them back out of field-goal range. I think the sack-fumble was a huge play early that resulted in a score and gave them the lead, 14-7, and then it snowballed from there.

Well they got out to an early start and I just didn't know what the fuck I was doing then. They got a lead and I immediately abandoned the run for no reason, ...even though it worked the entire year and got us to the point we were. I lost control of the team, Jake, and my bowels because I came up with a shoddy gameplan.

On playing more zone coverage pass defense in the first half than in the second half: I think they had a heck of player (Larry Fitzgerald) that caught six balls - two of them he wasn't even covered on. They threw it to him 20-some times. I don't think that's why we lost the game. We were fortunate they didn't score more than 33. That was 10 more than they scored the last time, and we turned it over once at the five (yard line) and that gave them a score. There would be a lot of reasons. But we look at the tape and we understand what happened. You just don't give the ball back to the third-ranked offense in the National Football League six times.

Well I was surprised he didn't get 300 yards in this game. Two grabs he got he didn't have anybody covering him. I wouldn't know why that happened because I was too busy unwrapping another pack of Winterfresh and scratching my balls on the sideline because I got eczema down there over the week.

On if he considered dedicating one player to shadow Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald: By design, we always had a defensive player on him, sometimes two. But we haven't done that (shadow a player) all season and we didn't do that in the first game.

We like to play weak ass zone defense because giving up 6 plays to a touchdown is better than giving up one big play to a touchdown. Despite the fact that I was facing arguably the best wide receiver in the NFL, I decided to go with the same shitty defense that gave up 30 points in, like, 6 of the last 8 games in the regular season.

On if he believes defensive end Julius Peppers, who will be an unrestricted free agent, wants to stay with the Panthers: Julius, who I have the utmost respect for, he's a private person. He's a different person than other people. It's a process, and he's fairly private with the process. I'll leave it at that. I've got no complaints with Julius. I've got no questions of his commitment. It's the business part of it and it's a process. I think he did a great job of focusing on football this year and not letting anybody from the outside make it a distraction, and I have a lot of respect for that.

Peppers is a fucking mute who never talks in the locker room unless it's his imaginary friend he's exchanging words with. He's ass backwards socially, so you can't expect him to elaborate on his feelings about staying in Carolina when he doesn't even know how to talk to people or what a conversation is. Last week I asked him, "Hey Julius, you know what a swim technique is?" and he just started drooling and stuck a hot wheels car up his nose.

On if he knows in his mind whether Peppers would prefer to remain with Carolina:
I've had conversations with him; I tend to keep those private. Like I said before, I've got the utmost respect for Julius. I think those things are between me and Julius.

Julius and I are close. I've had plenty of conversations with him, including his status long term with the team, but I can't elaborate on that. I've also discussed with him what his favorite TV show is and how many call girls he orders every night, although, there is a language barrier because like I said before he doesn't know how to talk, so we usually use a chalkboard.

On how he would gauge the priority of keeping Peppers: I'd say it's important. I think most people would see that as being important, just like keeping Jordan (Gross) here, and I think keeping all of our core players here. I can't predict future.

(...??????)

On if he anticipates any changes to his coaching staff: I don't predict any, but it's still early in that process - I think too early to predict or decide on.

I know that guy Trgovac will certainly be back if it's my call to keep him. He was looking like a lobotomy outpatient on the sidelines in that game like he had no fucking idea he was even in the stadium, but I just told him after the game, "hey, it doesn't matter if you suck at coordinating. If you can chew gum, you have a place in my coaching staff."

(eds note: that was before Trgo decided to leave on his own accord)

On the emotions of the last 24 hours: Thankfully, I've done it a lot. I think you've got to get to that high before you can get the disappointment. As I mentioned last night, there's only one happy team. There are going to be two sad teams today. The reality is there are no ties. Somebody has to lose. So at the end of it all, the only truly happy person is the guy with that Lombardi Trophy. That's the race we all get in, we all fight for, and, unfortunately, there's only one that gets it.

I just mope around my house, chewing my gum and taking prescription anti-depressants to complement my already dead-pan emotionless personality just to make damn sure the loss doesn't fizzle in my head and force me to make a decision that is necessary for the good of the team. Hey, I'm just glad I made the playoffs. No team makes a goal to make the superbowl every year. That's just crazy talk.

On if any players will need offseason surgery: Not too many things that I want to discuss publicly right now. But again, I haven't met with our medical people extensively. But those are things that we'll weed out as we move forward.

Well in a few weeks you'll probably hear that Damione Lewis has shoulder surgery but I'm gonna wait and let you get surprised and pissed off.

On how hard it is to say good-bye to the players knowing that there will be changes: It's like that every year from '03, '05, '93, '89. There are a lot fun players to be with and a lot of good teams that don't stay the same. There are not too many teams in this league - even the Super Bowl champ doesn't stay the same. It's just the landscape of what we do and the National Football League at present time. I think that's one of the neat things about it. That team picture - you look back 15 years from now and it brings back a lot of memories.

(Okay, I don't understand where the fuck he comes from here because the Panthers didn't even have a team in '93 and '89, unless he's talking about where he was an assistant but you work with like 5 fucking players as an assistant. I guess he was just getting a sense of corny baseless nostagia here)

Panthers organization would do well to understand the Steelers success instead of just imitating basic philosophies

2009-02-01T21:12:00.000-08:00

Well I think I made a Guinness record for longest title of a post, but I digress. It's hard to put that much perspective in a title smaller than that one.

Anyway, if you haven't heard already, or if you're so out of touch with technology you can't find a television near you, the Steelers just won Superbowl 43 about an hour ago. Anyway, this is their 6th Superbowl win in franchise history, the most of any other team in the league, and this most recent victory propels them over a tie with the Dallas Cowboys and 49ers with 5 apiece.

Now it seems perfectly acceptable for one team to emulate another, especially a team that has only been in the league for 14 years. Last year Jerry Richardson said that he wanted to be a more physical team that could run the ball well and played hard-nosed defense, and when the 60 minutes expired your opponent was exhausted and bruised. There is no doubt that this was the consensus of the brass of the Panthers, and that, of course, this wasn't the only Steelers trait they wanted to emulate. I kinda know some of the other things they admired that they didn't have the time to elaborate. That's why this piece expands on the ideas. This will be a suggestive synopsis on some of those suspected traits. Lets get started.

1. It is perfectly acceptable to desire continuity when it comes to head coach. ...Just make sure you've got a person with a good head on his shoulders when you do.
I know what you're thinking. "Oh he went 12-4, that buys him another 5 years to do whatever the fuck he wants even if it sinks the Panthers into obscurity."

Listen. John Fox achieved early success with a team as a first time head coach. It happens. It's always happened. But if he's stringing together back to back losing seasons and playoff appearances are few and far between by 2015, I'm not remembering 2003 and thinking he can still go there. Fox can be brilliant sometimes but too often his gameplans are grossly exposed to be a consistent winner. He isn't really strong at breaking down the Xs and Os and beating the other team with his mind, as sometimes you are required to do, and instead relies a little too much on just outmatching the opponent physically. And worst of all, he doesn't realize a weakness on his own team when he sees one. Too many times he has refused to fix what isn't working out, and it has hindered his progress. He reminds me too much of Marty Schottenheimer sometimes. He, too, was as stubborn as a mule, and you can't say San Diego hasn't been better off after firing him. Norv Turner came in after the top seeded Chargers went one and done in the playoffs and the next year led the team to an improbable AFC Championship game. The Steelers coaches have long been known to field competitive teams at least most years. Fox has trouble reaching the playoffs and stringing back to back winning seasons. Trust me when I say Fox is not a "be-all end-all" when it comes to coaching the Panthers.

Know when to say "when", when it comes to replacing aging, diminishing starters.

I like Delhomme. I mean I really do. But I don't like him enough to turn the ball over skatey-eight fucking times every playoff game we compete in. Just because he led us to an improbable Superbowl visit in 2003 when he was 28 does not mean he can do it when he's 40. Players' abilities eventually all deteriorate over time. Brett Favre can't lead a team to a Superbowl like he did in 1996. You saw first hand, without a running game he was shit in New York.

Delhomme played like garbage each and every single time the Panthers' run game was stopped. You know full well, eventually, a team is going to stop your running game, no matter how good it is, and when it happens, you better make sure you have a damn good QB who knows how to read a fucking defense. Jake Delhomme looks like he's confused as shit sometimes when he's in the pocket. Then he throws a wobbly, inaccurate crappy throw, and you're just crossing your fingers and lighting a candle to Saint Anthony everytime he drops back to pass. If not for Steve Smith's theatrical Ringling Brothers circus grabs, Jake would not have anyone to bail him out sometimes.

IMO the best teams invest in the future of a position well before a player is set to call it quits. The Patriots have Rodney Harrison aging every second, and guess what, they've got an equally talented young buck waiting for his name to be called upon already (Meriweather). The Panthers, on the other hand, have a bad habit of not doing a damn thing until the player retires, and then go through the pain of a hole at one position while trying to bolster it, if they didn't already go through the pain of a player with diminished capabilities starting already. Mike Minter did not play well in 06, and Rucker had two terrible, unproductive seasons before retiring, and in that span, was never benched in favor of a younger option, probably just because he had tenure, and Fox can't notice when players get old and crusty. Jeez, anyone else wonder if Fox keeps his bread way after it turns green and shit and thinks it's still good?

Sometimes, assuming a risk is a critically necessary undertaking.
The last 4 Superbowl winning QBs were drafted in the first round. Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning both led clutch game winning drives in the closing minutes of their respective games. Are you still wondering why teams draft QBs high, even if it has a chance of not panning out? Let me tell you, first round QBs get a bad rap, because of guys like Akili Smith, Alex Smith, Jamarcus Russell and Ryan Leaf. These are all QBs thrown into teams with no direction, no supporting cast, and no running game. On the other hand, QBs like Big Ben, Rivers and Eli have had a good supporting cast to surround themselves with, which in turn, helped them develop quicker and better. The Panthers do have a good supporting cast for a QB to develop on. Williams and Stewart were the best RB tandem in the entire league and Steve Smith is one of the most prolific wide receivers. Not to mention, with a little continuity the offensive line can repeat its dominance this year. This is no league to be fucking conservative and stingy. The only teams that had success are ones that took calculated risks and put something on the line in an effort to improve. If the Steelers thought the same way Fox did, Tommy Maddox would still be QBing the team into mediocrity and Big Ben would be elsewhere. Fox just has this inherent philosophy that he can build a superbowl winner by side-stepping or avoiding necessary roster moves required for contendership. Fielding outstanding QB play is just one of many areas carelessly ignored.

There's a reason they have those other 6 rounds in the draft.

Not every starter has to be a fucking first round draft pick. If that was the case, it would take 22 years of drafting talented guys to fill in every position, and by the time all those years elapsed, the guys you drafted first those first 7 years would likely be retired by then.

Basically, what those day two picks do is either A) give you quality depth at a certain position or B) give you a quality starter if you have enough patience and interest invested in the guy. The Panthers have neither. Too often later round picks never see the field and never get a chance to be thrown out there and show us what they can do. Also, some guys we've carelessly thrown out have found success elsewhere, for example Tony Brown of Tennessee and Jovan Haye in Tampa Bay. Philly had a top 3 defense this season and only 2 starters were first round draft picks. Lamar Woodley just had a phenomenal year as a linebacker in Pittsburgh. Meanwhile, the guy drafted right before him, Dwayne Jarrett, is lucky if he gets in 3 plays a game, let alone activated on Sunday.

Part of John Fox's reputation is the fact that as far as coaching the Panthers goes, all we have to compare him to is George Seifert and Dom Capers. But it's kinda like comparing dick size to men who suffer from micropenis. At the end of the day, it's a no contest because there's no dispute between which is superior. That doesn't mean there aren't potentially better options available elsewhere. I often find myself thinking maybe the entire Panthers organization had shifted into pure conservative, take-no-risks gear because making plain dumb mistakes in the infancy of this franchise caused it to become gun-shy even in the most obvious examples of replacement. Sometimes I wonder if Fox has his fucking head screwed on tight the way he was ready to maintain an entire defensive coaching staff after giving up 30 points almost each and every single fucking game we played in the second half of the season. Then I wonder, "wouldn't it be great if the Panthers franchise had a set of balls but knew which risks to take at the same time?"

Peppers' tag numbers/Weekend roundup (Charlotte writers in hibernation)

2009-01-31T08:56:00.000-08:00

This sucks ass

It's the cost of tagging Julius Peppers for the 2009 season, to prevent him from reaching the free agent market, and hope, just hope that we can trade him for at least a first round draft pick.

The cost of it? Almost 16.7 million ducats.

Is that some sort of unprecedented tag number or what? How the fuck did his salary get that out of hand? Peppers gets payed in the same neighborhood of cash as Tom Brady and Carson Palmer, guys who, arguably, could carry a team on their back (and say what you will about Palmer only leading the Bengals to the playoffs once, that team is fucking terrible. It would almost be like putting Peyton Manning on the Lions). So for the same amount of money as a franchise QB we're paying a DE who takes plays off, never led the league in sacks, and can't be counted on to be a locker room leader. That's great. Why don't we just give Jeff King 10 million a year while we're at it and promote Geep Chryst to vice president of football operations?

...and I guess we can believe him when he says it's not about the money. He makes a shitload here. This organization pampered the shit out of this guy and now he's going to leave us, and his posturing doesn't help our chances in getting compensation.

LOL I love how the tag will be 7.6 million more than it could be if we didn't toss money around like a corrupt politician pays out the ass for call girls and an overnight stay at Howard Johnson's with continental breakfast included.

In other news, Charlotte Observer Sports writers broke the world record for most days without any new information, and we're not even into that lifeless period of the offseason where absolutely nothing happens yet. The only junk we've heard about since the Meeks hiring Monday...

The Panthers field ranks high again: Whoopdee fucking doo. I bet it has nothing to do with the fact that Charlotte gets great sun compared to fucking Foxboro. Surveys like that just serve no purpose if the top 5 consistently is made up of cities like Tampa, Miami, San Diego, etc. It's just a big circle-jerk for those teams.

Charles Chandler, the best writer of all time, wrote an entire post about Jeff Reed's fucking haircut. I'm not kidding. Okay Charles, I know it's superbowl weekend, but...

A) Everybody hates the Steelers except Steeler fans, so fuck Jeff Reed

and

B) Really? You're talking about his fucking hair? Are you serious? At least ask him about the Cardinals kick return ability, or even the turf at Raymond James. Anything but his fucking haircut. Who were you seriously trying to get to read that? Football fans or Bravo network executives?

Chandler manages to exceed everybody's expectations and doesn't even talk about football here.

At least they asked Steve Smith about the Peppers situation, but Steve didn't tell them a damn thing. The rest of it is just talking about quotes from Cardinals players and they managed to get more in depth with the Meeks hiring. But NOTHING about prospective assistant coaches, ya know, what should be the top subject about Panthers ball.

You know sometimes they can come up with a really informative piece but the sports writing model for the Charlotte Observer leaves a lot to be fucking desired.

Random Panther Ramblings: Kevin Greene, WCW Superstar

2009-01-29T16:55:00.000-08:00

In absence of new developments, I'd like to give you a little treat anyway to pass the time. Only update out of Charlotte is that the Panthers have found some position coaches and the names won't be released until the contracts are finalized, which should be within the next two days. But without further adoo, let's segue to the topic of this blog, a look into the vault of Panthers history and the awkward growing pains of having to go through a homicidal receiver, dumb, naive trades that, by extension, probably contributed to the 1-15 disaster that was the 2001 season, and lastly, a football player who chooses WRASSLIN' over his team.

I admit, I used to watch wrestling when I was a picciriddu (that's Sicilian for "little one"). I mean who didn't at a young age? It's fun and exciting when you don't realize it's all fake and you think when the guy stomps on the ring mat while "punching" the other guy, that he actually made that sound with his fist and that guy's face, and idolizing men wearing tight day glo spandex is completely normal for a kid. Anyway, my father has a shit ton of old WCW tapes, ya know, when "Hotlanta" was known more for their wrestling culture than the shitty dirty south rap it's known for today ('cept for a select few, like T.I., Luda, others I can't think of right now). So one day I pop one in, looking for something to tape over with Life On Mars (Michael Imperioli and Harvey Keitel are an entertaining pair) when I see this shit...
...yea. I don't know what that's all about. Oh btw that guy he's, ...I guess, trying to shove his cock into, is Steve McMichael, who played on the '85 bears defense as a defensive tackle. This was the spring after the Panthers went 12-4 and made it to the conference championship, so they were the talk of the town. It was so surreal to me because, he even came out to that old Panthers fight song, you know, that "...nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina..." shit. But that wasn't the only funny part.

Then you had Ric Flair come out wearing the Kevin Greene jersey and going fucking postal all over the place like his usual self. Needless to say, I didn't tape over this gem of a video cassette. Instead I kept it and taped over that shitfest somebody called "Slamboree". This motivated me to check up on the old WWE by the way, and I watched Randy Orton get his ass kicked by Vince McMahon's fat slob of a son who was throwing fists like a 4th grader. I quickly changed the channel.

Anyway, back to Kevin. Up to that point he had played only one season in Carolina, and of course, the organization wasn't too happy with him putting his body on the line for a completely different "sport". Which is reasonable, I mean you pay him millions of dollars, and he's going to risk an ACL tear or a dislocated shoulder while trying to give Rowdy Roddy Piper a fucking leg drop? Get outta here.

...and Kevin Greene did. To San Francisco. Played with them for a year, then EVERY NFL team told him he couldn't wrestle if they signed him. He went back to Carolina and retired a Panther.

Mind you, this was during the organization's infancy, and as a new franchise, we weren't held in high regard at all. Some could argue only 12 years later, we still aren't, but we've improved over time. This was in the same era that Kerry Collins was disgruntled about being drafted a Panther, years later admitting "uh I wanted to be a part of a real established team and I ended up wearing this funny looking uniform". Well fuck you Kerry. Most of us fans were disgruntled about having a goofy fucking QB who fumbled just about every 8 fucking plays, but we didn't say anything rash. I think we would've been better off putting Timer the Cheese Guy in under fucking center.

When looking at some of the dumb shit this organization pulled in the early years, it's no wonder we hit rock bottom when we did. And as much crap I give John Fox sometimes, he and Marty at least brought some stability to this organization, some foundation to build upon when the inevitable retirement/firing/etc happens, and, oh yea, playoff berths. The Sean Gilbert trade set us back horribly, don't even get me started on Jeff Lewis, and when we actually weren't trading first round picks away we were wasting them on massive busts like Jason Peter and the notorious Rae Carruth.

Oh yea and to wrap this up Kevin Greene is now a linebackers coach for the Fudge Packers. LOL.

Panthers new DC: The Meeks Shall Inherit the Defense

2009-01-26T17:46:00.000-08:00

The Panthers organization has just hired a new defensive coordinator. Mr. Ron Meeks everybody!!! Fuck yea!!! That means, on paper at least, TWO position coach upgrades. Want some insight into my math?

Rip Scherer>Mike McCoy
Ron Meeks>Mike Trgovac

Hopefully, this means the Panthers defense will now take on the identity of the successful Tampa 2. Cover 2 defenses utilize smaller, faster linebackers and the secondary to cover zones. BUT, it's not soft and fluffy snuggle bear Trgovac zone defense, it's an aggressive, gang tackling, hard hitting, zone defense. Which means, Fox, let this guy do his fucking thing and field top 5 defense, like he's done almost every year he was in Indianapolis.

When thinking about the players that I think will thrive in this defense, I automatically think of Beason. As a MLB, he will cover the middle of the field on passing plays. Can he do it? I mean he only led the team in fucking interceptions, so yea, I think he's got a shot. He's tough, fast, hard hitting. He's going to kick some fucking ass. Thomas Davis should also do well in a Tampa 2 style D. Other players? Well this suits Damione Lewis's mold of defensive tackle, not that I don't think that we should still get help at that position in the offseason.

The secondary as a whole can really benefit from this hiring. The safeties especially can be coached up by Meeks.

The best part about it? Nobody thought Meeks did a terrible job in Indy, he just left on his own accord after Dungy retired, so he never got fired. Maybe Meeks can help Fox find a solid staff of assistant position coaches.

Like I said before, stay tuned.

Panthers Defense vs Philly Defense: Talent in individuality vs talent in Unit

2009-01-25T23:30:00.000-08:00

Serious break away from my usual humorous self here.

I got to thinking about how sometimes the best defenses are "no name" defenses, which basically means that most or all of the players are not immediately recognizable. None of them particularly stand out as a "playmaker" or a "ballhawk" or a "tackling machine". For the most part, defenses like these can only be run and coached by a very smart, seasoned, adept defensive coordinator. Dick LeBeau, Monte Kiffin, and Jim Johnson (Eagles) come to mind here. These systems are built to use players as a collective unit, instead of pretty much "featuring" defensive players. Maake Kemoeatu was brought in Carolina to play the interior line alongside Kris Jenkins. This move was made to free up Dan Morgan (MLB) to make plays, and did help Jon Beason accumulate some nice production when he was plugged in the middle.

John Fox has this "supposed" defensive genius moniker commonly applied to him. Why? Your best defensive coordinators can just plug in players and get the production out of them. Fox has not proven he could do that. He never achieved consistent top defense like these guys have, for the most part. Going down the line of current starters and players who do get significant snaps, from the order in which they were drafted by the Panthers if we did draft them:

Julius Peppers (2nd overall; 2002)
Thomas Davis (14th overall; 2005)
Jon Beason (25th overall; 2007)
Chris Gamble (28th overall; 2004)

Then on to 2nd rounders
Ken Lucas (top FA pickup; drafted 2nd round by Seahawks, 2002)
Richard Marshall (2nd round 2006)

First rounders drafted on other teams
Damione Lewis (Rams 2001)
Tyler Brayton (Raiders 2003)

Other notable cogs
Maake Kemoeatu
Na'il Diggs
Charles Godfrey
Chris Harris
Charles Johnson

From the looks of it, this defense, to me, is stacked with talent. And if we could get someone that can bring out the full potential from these guys, and make them produce as a unit, believe me, we could end up letting them all go to FA and bringing in later round draft picks to start like some of these teams are doing. To other people, however, they can find 3 or 4 pieces of this defense to improve. DE needs 2 additions, DT needs 4 additions, we need to get a new SLB, we need to drop Lucas and get Asomugha, etc, etc. WE could throw 80% of cap space towards the defense, and it still might not be as consistent or as good as some of the more consistent defenses out there.

Lets compare and contrast, shall we? I'll use the Eagles depth chart to compare starters with the Panthers'.

LE
Tyler Brayton (1st rd drft pck; Raiders)
Juqua Parker (Undrafted; Titans)

RE
Julius Peppers (2nd ovr pck)
Trent Cole (5th rd pick)

LDT
Maake Kemoeatu (undrafted; Ravens)
Mike Patterson (1st rd pck)

RDT
Damione Lewis (1st rd pck; Rams)
Brodrick Bunkley (1st rd pck)

Linebackers
Jon Beason (1st rd pck)
Thomas Davis (1st rd pck)
Na'il Diggs (4th rd pck; Packers)

Stewart Bradley (rd 3 pck)
Akeem Jordan (undrafted)
Chris Gocong (rd 3 pck)

Secondary
Ken Lucas (2nd rd pck; Seahawks)
Chris Gamble (1st rd pck)
Chris Harris (6th rd pck; Bears)
Charles Godfrey (3rd rd pck)

Asante Samuel (4th rd pck; Pats)
Sheldon Brown (2nd rd pck)
Quintin Mikell (undrafted)
Brian Dawkins (2nd rd pck)

Carolina signs more high profile free agents, spend higher picks and more money on their defense, but they can't develop talent nearly as well as Philadelphia does, while it can be argued that Carolina invests in raw talent, it certainly didn't pay off this season when they finished 18th overall and Philly finished 3rd. Compare Beason to any Eagles LBer and he looks like a world beater. Julius Peppers gets to the QB way more often than Trent Cole. Individual comparisons would suggest that the Panthers have the more productive talent and more return in investment, but as a unit, they fail. In spite of the interceptions, the sacks, the high tackle totals, they give up a lot of yards, because it's the system they're in. Philly runs a system that works. Philly gets way more value than we do, and they spend more cash on the offense, look at all the 1st day picks they've dedicated there.

And then people think that criticism of Fox isn't justified, criticism of Trgovac isn't justified. Yet the call these guys "defensive geniuses". Well if they are such geniuses why do they need people that can walk on water, hurdle over high fences, and have the ability to roam and cover large areas to field top defense? A real defensive genius is one that can manipulate and craft gameplans to make even no name players produce.

And people wonder why I suggest McDermott as an option for defensive coordinator everytime I get the chance. Hell I'll even take a linebackers coach from there.

When you have a system where players make plays as a unit, you'll likely get more satisfaction and more return than "read and react" that relies on the athleticism and fitness of our players to compensate for the fact that they may not be put in the best position to minimize yardage gains on the defense. Lucas has been in the league for 8 years and he's getting old, according to Panther fans. Well what's slowing Dawkins down? He's been in the league for much longer and he is still making plays.

Carolina's only way of fielding top defense is for Fox to get a guy that can craft dominant gameplans and leave the defense to him, and McDermott's not the only one out there. NOT blowing your entire first day on a defensive end that will probably get decent stats but never improve the defense as a UNIT while hiring an incompetent coordinator to just say "ok just drop back in zone on passing downs and read and react". You'll never be consistent, and you'll always get burned badly every other game.

Panthers D Line: Completely Depleted

2009-01-25T00:40:00.000-08:00

PFT and other football news outlets reported that starting DT Damione Lewis underwent surgery to repair a torn rotator cuff. Lewis injured that shoulder in the Panthers/Giants game, which pretty much completely drained both teams of any momentum for the rest of the season because after that game the Giants lost against Minnesota and Philly, even with a first round bye, and the Panthers followed up a near defensive collapse that was averted by the Superman, Steve Smith, at the last minute, by getting the shit absolutely kicked out of them by Arizona in the divisionals.

This is just the latest of many developments that have been deteriorating the once mighty Panthers defensive line that made every other QB shit their pants in the pocket. For those of you that haven't been keeping score, well:

Brentson Buckner got old and retired after 05, he now gets his digs in at Panthers players and the coaching staff on a radio show. Mike Rucker retired last season, after only deteriorating to the point of unusability. His last decent year was 2005. Kris Jenkins took his fat, lazy, hypocritic, and ungrateful ass up near where I live in NJ with the Jets (and I don't give a shit if they're called "NY". They don't play there, and they don't even practice there anymore) and left the caring appreciative organization that stood by him when he was having personal problems and didn't say "sorry, FUCK you, we're releasing you" like 31 other teams would've after his second straight injury. And Peppers, one of my favorite players, lastly, wants a change of scenery and to explore other defensive sets on another team. So basically, that 2003 line that dominated all the way to the superbowl? Gone.

Ok, Damione wasn't 2003 Kris Jenkins to start with, but at least this provided something to build on as far as building the defensive line back up. So it sucks that he's going to miss at least the offseason workouts, mini-camp, and probably part of training camp. Which brings me to my next subject:

REBUILDING THE DEFENSIVE LINE

I guess well, we can start with not acquiring fucking smug locker room prima donnas to plug in. So anybody that has near the personality of a Buckner or Jenkins is out of the question. Seriously these two shit out more drama than a fucking episode of the Rock of Love Bus. AND I guess while we're at it getting overrated overpaid DLs who take plays off and don't know how to be a leader is out of the question also, because we've tried that already. So basically what I'm saying is everybody needs to be like, 2002-2003 Mike Rucker.

Shining personality, leadership skills, PRODUCTION, value, all good traits of a defensive lineman. All good traits of a football player, period. More people that are like the Ruckster here are what we need.

But they don't make em quite like the Ruckster, brother. So while we're at it let's settle for a Rocky Bernard...
....and a side of Chris Canty.

They're not perfect, but they'll get the job done, and they're both solid players. Canty is on the Cowboys currently and he's a sportsman, and if you can be a sportsman there, you can be one anyfuckingwhere, because on the Cowboys team, it's like there are 50 Kris Jenkinses. Bernard got arrested last year but he's not a frequent offender like some other guys can be.

Lets hope the Panthers can recoup their losses, and get more value out of their acquisitions, because if you haven't noticed, we kind of suck at playing the game of free agency.

4-3 vs. 3-4: Current Hot Topic Snafu Among Panthers Fans

2009-01-23T18:10:00.001-08:00

The carolinahuddle panthers forum page has been almost completely in uniform discussion between staying with the base 4-3 defense John Fox has run since he got here and switching to a 3-4 base defense recently, which has been quite a popular concept.

Now I must admit, if I was head coach of a team, I would prefer instituting a 3-4 defense. After all, it creates more flexibility as far as linebacking goes. The linebackers are bigger and if you have a good core of them they will wreak havoc on opposing offenses. 3-4 OLBs are smaller than 4-3 DEs but their ability to edge rush and use technique instead of straight pure bull-rushing offsets that size deficiency. Some of the best linebackers in the NFL have played in 3-4 defenses, particularly Lawrence Taylor, who was so dominant the Redskins created an offensive position called H-Back to counter his presence. 3-4 defenses are usually always aggressive, and often have at least one rangy, quick and smart safety to use his abilities as much as you want. Ed Reed, Troy Polamalu, and Roy Williams are some examples.

So yea, I could see why this is a sexy subject, ...but there's absolutely no chance in fucking hell it happens as long as John Fox head coaches this team. As much as I love it it's not the best decision to make. Transitioning between one base formation to another is often a painstaking process of a learning curve, acquiring prototypical 3-4 players, and a few other things. Who the fuck wants to go through all that, especially when Delhomme's window to over throw his way to a Superbowl is closing each and every minute he gets older, and no clear cut heir apparent to take the reigns?

The Panthers 4-3, as it is now, all players included, is fine the way it is, talent-wise. They just need a defensive coordinator that knows how to make a fucking adjustment and doesn't play piss-poor scaredy cat bend-but-don't break schemes. Switch to a 3-4, and here's your starting lineup, according to the personnel I think, futile as it may be putting them there, would nonetheless be the best fit for them.

NT-Kemoeatu-Ok Kemo has played NT before in Baltimore, but he wasn't the best one at the job. Haloti Ngata took over those duties from him and has done an outstanding job when you compare the two. So why would we plug in a previous NT castaway from a 3-4 at NT? It doesn't make sense. Kemo would be serviceable but not like he would be next to a real DT instead of a situational pass rusher (Lewis) next to him.

DEs-Damione Lewis and Tyler Brayton-Both have had experience at DT so it makes sense that's where you would plug them in, because they fit the mold of a 3-4 DE. They are about 300lbs each, they don't really get any sacks, and nobody really hears from them as much as the other players.

So the defensive line would look pretty good to start with, of course you could make some improvements as you go along, but whatever.

Now on to linebacking, where it just gets fucking goofy.

ILBs-Jon Beason and Thomas Davis-I don't have more confidence in anybody more than Beason to make a seamless transition to a 3-4. This guy was just made to be a middle linebacker, period, 3-4 or 4-3. In my opinion, Thomas Davis should be kicked in to ILB as well, immediately.

There were some people suggesting Dan Conner fill in ILB and Davis stay outside. This doesn't make any fucking sense at all. Thomas Davis came into the league as a fucking safety for pete's sake, now we expect him to be a large 3-4 outside linebacker that has to take on blocking offensive linemen way more often than he is now at 4-3 WLB? Davis will most likely have to bulk up, being only 240 lbs, he will have to gain at least 15 to 20 to get the advantageous size of a 3-4 outside 'backer. Yea, good luck with that, he'll look like a fat fucking mess on the field at 6'0'', 260lbs. I think he's filled out his frame to the max.

On the outside, pretty much a crucial part of an effective 3-4, well, we just have no ideal fucking personnel right now. Hilee Taylor is a late round draft pick and has been discussed to like, become a 3-4 backer and get 100 tackles a year. Guys, I'm just glad when he sacks a fucking QB once every 6 games. I'm not expecting him to turn into fucking Adalius Thomas overnight. I also heard Charles Johnson suggested as a possible OLB. ...yea. Good luck. How do we expect CJ to cover a fucking zone if he needed to, he's got no speed to cover large distances like some of these big speedy 3-4 backers do. The guy's best niche is at 4-3 DE. Peppers was discussed as an automatic shoe-in for OLB but you know he's leaving so that's pretty much moot.

So, in short, we will have to rely on 3 down linemen to occupy 5 offensive linemen automatically. Kemo, Lewis, Brayton, these are people who can barely beat one-one-one matchups themselves, especially the latter two. Despite solid personnel for ILB, on the outside, we have a player best suited for 4-3 DE ONLY, and a player with no true position. Cornerbacks are pretty much an afterthought, it doesn't really affect them, and it doesn't really affect safeties, as long as you've got a solid core to start.

We, ...don't really have one to start. Chris Harris is decent as a run defender but he's no Polamalu in pass coverage. Plus his range is not nearly as good as Troy's. And Charles Godfrey is a cornerback-turned safety rookie. So I don't think we can rely on him to be Ed Reed quickly enough.

So basically, our decisions boil down to this. Keep the 4-3, sign a DT and acquire a DE somewhere, and get a coordinator that can bring out the potential in these guys, OR, we could, switch to the 3-4, get a 3-4 coordinator, release Lewis, release Diggs, release Lucas cause we're going to need the cap space, sign Terrell Suggs, hope we can trade Peppers for a top 3 pick so we can get Aaron Curry, sign Chris Canty, acquire Dawan Landry from Baltimore as a FS, and wait 2-3 years for the results to come in.

Yea, I don't think Fox is going to do that, and I may critique him often, but he'll make the smart decision and stick with the base defense he has now.

Charles Chandler's best suggestion: ...Jim Haslett?

2009-01-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

I like reading charlotte.com's "inside the panthers" blog. And when I mean "I like reading" I'm saying every time I read a piece off of that blog I feel like ripping the laptop from it's wire and chucking it into the street outside so I can watch a Fed Ex truck run right the fuck over it. In our latest installment, Charles Chandler proves to the world he knows nothing about football by immediately suggesting Jim Haslett as the defensive coordinator, mere hours after the news reached the AP that Mike Turdyvac had flushed himself.

My opinion of Haslett:
Jim Haslett is not fresh. He's not new. He isn't young, he doesn't have an innovative defensive mind, and he's not going to be any improvement over Trgovac. Why don't we use the chance we have now to find someone who can really make a difference for this defense rather than go for the "quick fix" just to shore up the position so we don't have to worry about it. That's stupid. Ok Charles, you ready to play a game? It's called guess what the numbers mean....
I kyped this from the New York lottery. They got new machines, they don't need it anyway. So lets check what numbers come out. Lets see... we've got a....28....21....23...14...32...18...27...16...8...11...12...6...13. That's it. Want to know what they all mean? Those are actually stats in overall defense for the teams Jim Haslett has either been a 1)Head coach, or 2)Defensive coordinator for. These numbers are just fucking terrible. And you're suggesting hiring this guy? Why? Because he's unemployed so it makes you feel bad? Try being a full-time college student who's struggling just to buy fucking textbooks and who works 20 hours a week and makes less than $200 chasing a shitty hourly wage. And compound paying for a college education with also paying your own health insurance. I don't got a lot of time to feel sorry for coordinators who make fucking 6 figure incomes doing a job they absolutely love.

Guess who else is unemployed, Mr. Ron Meeks. He's just had 2 solid defensive seasons in Indy. Wait, I'm not finished there's more. There's also my pick of the litter, Sean McDermott, out of Philly, an assistant coach just ripe for the pickins and waiting to take a promotion elsewhere. You remember the last Philly assistant who got a promotion elsewhere? Yea, he just beat out Jim Haslett for the head coaching job in St. Louis.

You know who else beat out Jim Haslett? Dom fucking Capers. Yea. The Packers would rather take their chances with that idiot as their DC than Haslett.

The Panthers don't need old trends at DC who don't have any new ideas. They need an aggressive defense, and Philly runs the best aggressive 4-3 formation in my honest opinion. Lets take a page from someone's book who's actually done well for themselves lately.

BREAKING NEWS: Trgovac gone, Lewis leaves for Seattle.

2009-01-22T16:01:00.000-08:00

In one week and a half after the meltdown against Arizona in the divisional game, Panthers defensive coaches embarked on a mass exodus of Charlotte. It looked something like this:

This is both good news and bad news. The good news, well, let's start with Trgovac leaving.

Trgovac never took the D to it's full potential and had more than enough talent. One by one, most or all of them had good stats when you single them out, but they didn't mesh as a unit. When Fox and Hurney didn't give a shit about improving anything coaching-wise in the offseason, and actually offered a two year extension on Trgovac's contract (yea, what Panther fan could live through that?) it was Trgovac who declined and wishes to explore different opportunities. ...Yea, good luck with that Mikey, I'm sure there's a strong market in the NFL for half-witted defensive minded cretins with a propensity to shift his unit into cruise control when the team has a 3 point lead. You won't be missed.

Now for some partly bad news, is that even the better position coaches left the team. Ken Flajole, linebackers coach, directly worked with linebackers Will Witherspoon, Mark Fields, Thomas Davis, Jon Beason, and always seemed to field at least an above average core of linebackers, even when Dan Morgan went out with the annual injury. People like Chris Draft even had 100 tackle seasons.

Sal Sunseri was another one of the better position coaches in the league. His D-Line unit was one of the most dominant from 2002-2005. I always had a high opinion of him.

The other guys, Lewis, and on the offensive side of the ball, Mike McCoy, I was never too keen on. Chris Gamble was the only player to improve under Tim Lewis, who spent a few years with the Giants dealing with fans disgruntled with his soft zone coverage. I'm actually glad he left for Seattle even more so John Fox couldn't promote him to D-Coordinator, a likely move had he stayed, since the last time a defensive coordinator left Fox promoted that imbecile Trgovac.

And Mike McCoy, well, he didn't do shit to make QB play better. Even Delhomme makes the same dumb mistakes he did 5 years ago. There's been no improvement. Rip Scherer is a real upgrade.

My only hope now is that John Fox has the balls to go and get a staff who's formula works. Sean McDermott tops my list of potential acquisitions. Considering Steve Spagnuolo was only a position coach when he came from the Eagles to go to the Giants and notched them 20 spots up in total defense the next year, he can be even better for us, since McDermott's had tremendous success as a secondary coach and linebackers coach in Philly. He's even been an assistant head coach, and is only being held back because Jim Johnson's the defensive coordinator.

Stay tuned for more developments.

Carl Carey is a Snake in the Grass

2009-01-21T19:03:00.000-08:00

Carl Carey released a statement last week concerning Julius Peppers' future with the Panthers.

Just in case you don't care to read the article, I'll summarize it for you. Basically, Carey made it public knowledge that Julius wishes to play for a different team next year and he doesn't feel he's being utilized to his full potential.

Well thanks a lot you fucking dildo. You could've let Peppers and the organization that grew him to be the player he is today settle the matter internally, you could've handled it better to where we'd have a better shot at getting something in return for him, like a first round draft pick, but no. You decide to blow out this popcorn fart of a statement. I hope a ravenous parasitic species of lice eat away at your foreskin in your sleep you jackass.

Now the NFL media is on this story like white on rice, pretty much every front office in the league knows about it, and they are licking their chops at the thought of having the "best" DE in football today.

I'm going to say something that might shock you and let you know that, well, despite his rep, Peppers is a little overrated. He has a terrible motor for a supposed defensive playmaker, he takes plays off, and he can get manhandled and completely neutralized by one lineman in a game. But still, he's overrated, which means we could cut a good deal with any team involving a first rounder. This rat bastard complicates things, yes, by making a public statement like this, but it doesn't make it impossible. The franchise tag is universally hated by all players, yet teams are still able to cut deals, like Jared Allen to the Vikings in the last draft. I'm holding out hope that we can somehow pull off a last minute trade in the draft and end up with a higher pick than San Fran so we can get Mark Sanchez out of USC and he can pass for at least 3500 yards a year and be the NFC's premier QB for years to come. Oakland might just be moronic enough to cut that kind of a deal, and they pick at 7. Al Davis is a bumbling demented moron, so yea, it could happen.

Mike Trgovac: Killing Us Softly with His Crappy Zone Coverage

2009-01-21T17:48:00.001-08:00

If you're a Panther fan, you hate Mike Trgovac. It's just a fact of life. Even if you don't know why, you still hate him. But most people have a reason, and the simple reason is his defense doesn't work. His formula, scheme, gameplans, they all suck, he can't make an adjustment during a game to save his life and he's just about a week and a half removed from one of the shittiest defensive performances I've ever seen fielded, where Larry Fitzgerald had 150 receiving yards, ....at the half. So if you're like me and regularly check up on the Charlotte.com Panthers page, or frequent the carolinahuddle.com message board, when they posted this article, your reaction went something like this...

I mean, why? Just why? Do we want to win a superbowl? Or do we want to toil in mediocrity and "just be thankful we're not 1-15"? 31 other teams, 31 other head coaches would've fired his ass come the end of the weekend after that pitiful gameplan, but not here. Why? Is there something in the water?

No. I know the answer. Mike Trgovac must poop gold, because the fact that he is still here says alot about the accountability of this team, and the distinct trend that is generally accepted by this coaching staff and, even worse, some of the fans, that it was only one game, when in reality, this game has happened time and time again, where one player is just not accounted for, and gets yards after yards of offense, and nothing is ever done to stop it. And forget that shit about holding the Cardinals to 6 points after the half, Whisenhunt gave us mercy after stomping a mudhole in our team and walking it dry.

Maybe the real problem is higher up. Maybe we're not looking high enough up the ladder, maybe come next year, a fresh, new coaching staff will come into Carolina with some fresh new ideas and the willingness to change what doesn't work. Maybe we can get a coaching staff that isn't closed minded to certain ideas, like the fact that Jake Delhomme is going to inevitably retire, and when he does, we're either going to draft a first round QB or be fucked up royal as far as QBing. And best idea yet, maybe this coaching staff can reach new heights for the Panthers, higher heights than John Fox has ever achieved.

Maybe this "new" coaching staff can "Win Things" instead of "Almost Win Things"...

Of course that'll require the Panthers Organization, as well as a lot of the fans, to abandon that ass-backwards "I'm thankful we just have a franchise" mentality that was only acceptable the first 3 years of Panthers football, and adopt a more forward "Our goal is to win the big one" mentality that every other team has.

The 2008 Carolina Panthers Awards Show! (Part 2 of 2)

2009-01-21T15:42:00.000-08:00

(Ed's Note: If you haven't read part one yet, please scroll down and read that one first, then come back to this one.)

...and now for the continuation of our awards ceremony!!!!

(Oh btw shouldn't this be 2009 awards show since it is after all the correct year we're on? N/M.)

Next award up for nomination is the Bill Parcells honor "Coach of the year" award for the Panthers.
All head coaches, coordinators, and assistants were eligible. Even Trgovac. And the winner goes to...
Running Backs Coach/Assistant Head Coach Jim Skipper!!! Jim Skipper taught DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart how to stiff arm and run with power to complement their speed and vision. They say the Panthers' offense is the "3 yards and a cloud of dust" kind of running game, but defenses knew it more as "8 yards and a sore shoulder in the morning" running game. DeAngelo ran for a Panthers record 1,515 rushing yards and Jonathan Stewart had just about as many yards as a rookie than DeShaun Foster had as a starter, all while splitting time with the dominant Williams.

Up Next is our Super Slam "Roadgrader of the year" award for linemen. And the winner is...
Jeff Otah. Jeff Otah, despite being a rookie, mauled defensive linemen, some of them seasoned, solid vets. His raw power and stamina will only grow with experience and learning technique in the future. He may be a future pro bowler. Who knows, but what's good to know is he had one of the best rookie seasons for linemen in the 2008 NFL draft, especially for someone people questioned compared to guys like Clady, Branden Albert, Jake Long, and others. A lot of people questioned his technique and experience to succeed at the pro level, and he overcame the odds and silenced the naysayers. There may be an Otah jersey in my future.

Host: Jeff, please tell us how you learned to drive people 5 yards behind the LOS at the point of attack.

Jeff: I practiced by shoving 200lb guys into lockers in high school.

Host: Wow, did they fit?

Jeff: They fit when it was me pushing them in.

Host: That's pure power right there.

And now for the Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger "Give Me A Shot Coach!" buried player of the year award!!!!

The winner is...Dwayne Jarrett (ed's note: I couldn't find a pic of him on the field as a Panther because he never gets to play)

Host: Dwayne, its apparent that the coaches don't give you a chance. DJ Hackett didn't do anything as a receiver and they kept him active until late in the season, and the fact that Jake only sees two players on the field, Smitty and Moose, and will force it in triple coverage to get it to those guys before he sees you wide open in the middle of the field did not help you produce much at all.

Dwayne: Yea it's frustrating. People have already labeled me a bust and it's not fair. Of course with my route running i can get open, but I also need the QB to throw the ball to me too.

Host: Well in any event you've earned yourself a glass football award.

Up next is the "Flash in the Pan" award, given to a player who has just one good game and disappears the rest of the season. And the award goes to...

Dante Rosario penned in a near 100 yard receiving performance against San Diego in the regular season opener. He was the best TE on the field that day, and that's saying something, considering Antonio Gates was lining up when the SD offense was on the field. Perhaps the most important reception, though, was the one that WON THE FRIGGING GAME (^see above^). That put Rosario on the map and that play was highlighted as one of the top ten in the entire league for week one. Then he got bored or something and we never saw any of that again, which is a shame because I really thought we finally had a good tight end, the best since Wesley Walls. Oh well, looks like we're gonna be looking at Owen Daniels or LJ Smith in the offseason.

Oh, and Dante couldn't be here tonight. Nobody's seen him since he caught that game winning ball in week one. Charlotte area sports writers have speculated that he crawled into a cave after the game, frightened by an angry mob of Chargers fans. Urban legend has it that he spends his days now as a drifter, trying to earn enough money to buy a flat in SoHo by cleaning peoples' windows at stoplights with a squeegee and windex, making a dime a windshield, on average. STILL another source told me he took to a life in the sea and works as a Pirate in Southeast Asia. Whatever fate he has met, we will store this glass football for him in a designated area, and once he resurfaces, deliver it to him.

And finally, the last award, the surprise player "Jack in the Box" award for production despite being unknown previous to this year. And the award goes to....

CHARLES JOHNSON! Charles, pictured above as 95, was second on the team in sacks, which was pretty good considering the leading sacker was Julius Peppers, and he had to split time with Tyler Brayton, someone who's pass rushing abilities are not his MO.

Host: Charles, what can we expect from you in the future?

Charles: More of the same, but definitely more in the future.

Host: With Peppers gone you are the brightest star as a defensive lineman, and it's only your second year. How will you handle your newfound status?

Charles: I will take the ball, and run with it, back into the offense's own endzone of course!

Host: That's the spirit!

Well that does it for the 2008 Panthers award show. Thanks again for reading.

The 2008 Carolina Panthers Awards Show! (Part 1 of 2)

2009-01-21T11:26:00.000-08:00

For my first entry of my web memoirs of Panthers material, I decided to do something big, and entertaining, instead of just starting off with a boring news article. Who will win the prestigious Quartz football? (ok it's only glass, but don't tell any of the nominees that)

These awards will be given out to Panthers personnel that have gone the extra mile, stood out like a sore thumb compared to the rest. These people make you think if you had 10 more of them, you could go to the superbowl and win some real trophies instead of following up a beautiful season with a pitiful postseason one-and-done blunder of epic disgustingness.

Some players are plain not qualified for these awards. Not because they can't play, but because they just have not gotten enough playing time. Of course some awards will highlight that very demographic, just to make them feel included and not isolated. So without further filler material, let's start the show.

The "Natural Born Thriller" Offensive Weapon of the Year Award. And the winner is......
STEVE SMITH, EVERYBODY!!! (applause) Smith was suspended for the first two games this season, yet accumulated 1461 yards from scrimmage, and ended up ranked in the top 3 in receiving. Steve, we know you are made of an alloy of nickel and titanium, you eat limestone for breakfast, and Chuck Norris ain't got shit on you. What do you have to say for your achievement?

Steve: I knew I was going to win anyway. No surprise.

Host: Steve, what do you have to say about fans of other teams who say there are better WRs out there in the NFL.

Steve: They need to type in steve smith+panthers+highlights on youtube.com, and learn a thing or two about a thing or two.

Host: What would you say to people like Terrell Owens, who think they are a better receiver than you?

Steve: I'll kick his ass.

Host: STEVE SMITH, EVERYBODY!!! (applause)

The next award is the "Built Like a Brick Shithouse" defensive player of the year award. (opens envelope...)
Jon "Killer Beas" Beason! Jon Beason is built using just the same metal components as Steve Smith, only he eats granite instead of limestone. He was one of the only highlights of a porous defense (well, I can't really blame the players when they're told to wait for someone to make a reception and then try to tackle him by Trgovac). He finished 3rd in total tackles in the entire league, and managed to even lead the team in interceptions despite being a linebacker. (crazy talk, right?)

Unfortunately, Jon couldn't be here today to accept this award. He's in British Columbia grinding villanous polar bears into a fine powder. So we will Fed Ex him the award. Hopefully it won't break while in shipping.

The "TWO HEADED MONSTER AWARD" goes to a pair of players who's production feeds off each other. And the winners are...
DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart!! Double Trouble, or as I like to call them, Bread and Butter, because everytime we needed them to survive during the playoff hunt, they were there to provide sustenance, in the form of touchdowns. (Jon and DeAng step up to the podium)

Host: Guys, you accounted for 30 rushing touchdowns, more than any running back pair in the league. What was behind your success.

DeAng: well, it was like, a friendly rivalry type thing. He got a touchdown running the ball, and then I knew I would have to get a TD, and the process would repeat.

Host: Any words for Lendale "OMG my thighs are chafing me" White?

Stewart: He sucks.

Host. Nice.

Up next is the "Ageless Wonder" award, for outstanding performance in the face of limitations, like being old. And the winner is...
Muhsin Muhammad!!! (audience: MOOOOOOOOOOOSSEEEE!!) Moose managed to produce over 900 receiving yards and 5 touchdowns despite being 35 years old, which, in football player years, equates to about 157, give or take a decimal. Moose, you certainly know something about keeping in shape after all these years, given the stats. What's your secret?

Moose: The fountain of youth is in my backyard. I dunk my head in it regularly. That's why I don't have crow's feet.

Host: Well you can really tell in your production as a receiver.

Up next is the "Lay The Wood Like A Lumberjack" recognizing defensive players for outstanding tackling, or as I like to call it, tenderizing your opponent like a mack truck. And the winner is...

Chris Harris! Harris regularly layed some of the most entertaining and hardest hits and knocked people around like one of those wrestling pillow buddys from the 80s (remember them?)
Host: Harris, where did you learn to hit as hard as you did?

Harris: Chi-Town, baby. Not here. Tim Lewis, Mike Trgo, they don't teach me to do any of that. They just demand me to not play the ball and stay behind the receiver so I can't defend the pass.

Host: Any other comments on the defensive coaches?

Harris: They make the Cornerbacks play like Safeties and the Safeties play like tackling dummies.

Host: Okay! Brief intermission, and then we will continue!