Cock Shit Fuck

...if you are a Panthers fan, chances are those were just a few of the many expletives you hurled at your flat screen today, as the Panthers once again fall asleep on the couch while opportunity knocks on the door.

John Fox proves once again he should not be coaching a football team anymore, and Jake Delhomme doesn't make his case to QB a football team any better.

Ok, was it against a top 3 team in the entire league? Yes it was, but tell me how you explain outscoring the opponent 17-3 in the first half only to be outscored 27-3 in the second half, without it involving the words "John" "Fox" and "Sucks ass". It may be damn near impossible.

It's so frustrating that, in the midst of rushing to pump out another vapid writeup, the sports writers at the observer misspelled a word in the title of this article. I honestly don't know why the fuck they try anymore.

most of it is just recap filler anyway, so lets take it straight to the comments part.

Jake, worst QB in the league. Not only you cant throw, but you can take snaps or hand the ball off correctly either. 1 yard line and messed up a TD

And he still is our starter. I am so glad Fox wont be here next year. His contract is up next year and its a great feeling

...yes I agree he is either ineffective or he is absolutely fucking terrible in each and every single game.

Here we go again. Up in 1st quarter, play it safe the rest of the game.

Jake gets to pad his stats in the last few minutes of the 4th quarter so Fox can say that Jake didn't have a bad game. Really? Jake had a bad game because until the 4th quarter we were scared to throw it. We can't run every single play!

Too bad our dummy HC can't figure out you need a passing game as well to win these days. This isn't your daddy's good ol' football game anymore Foxy. Teams can't just run to fucking daylight every day and expect to win a championship or win consistently.

Can we sell these guys to someone dumb enough to waste the money on them? Or perhaps shoot them, or throw them off of a cliff... anything entertaining to make up for 138 MILLION wasted dollars on these losers.

A) don't blame them you should blame the rhesus monkey we have posing as a GM that happens to be named Marty Hurney, and

B) some of them actually play inspiring week in and week out. Okay, well, maybe, halfway inspiring.

If you noticed after the game, I was talking to the Saint. Thats where Im headed!

what the fuck does this even mean

Fuck you delhomme haters are pathetic. Blame Deangelo Williams for fumbling at his own two or dropping two (one easy) touchdown pass. If two of those three don't happen WE WIN.

god we cannot put any responsibility of a loss on this guy's shoulders without some fucking cunt half wit logging on to diligently construct a shitty sequence of a few sentences so they can blame everybody else because in their eyes, Jake can't do a single fucking thing wrong and it is always somebody else that lets us down instead of him

that's pretty much all I have the stomach for. A lot of these comments make me ashamed to share love for the same team as some of these yammering ninnies. Most of our fans don't know the first fucking thing about football nor can they type a sentence with less than 20 spelling or grammatical errors.

So we have a crap team, led by a crap HC, built by a crap GM, which serves a crap fanbase (there are exceptions)

what a fucking mess

Panthers' Fell for Delhomme's Charm, Hook, Line, and Stinker

I fucking told you guys.

I knew this was going to happen

I just didn't think it was going to happen this early.

So maybe I thought for now the Eagles would've kept him under 200 yards passing, he might have broke even at TDs and INTs with one apiece, but no.

4 interceptions, one fumble. Five turnovers.

And if you're one who's keeping score since the playoff game, that's 11 total turnovers.

But wait a minute....

Isn't this the guy we gave a nice fat 42 million dollar contract to back in April? Isn't this the guy who shows all the intangibles and savvy that only the most clutch QBs can display when the heat is on?

Oh no wait a minute it's the guy I said was getting older and declining, my bad. Somehow for a minute there i almost got caught up in a Panther fan eternal optimism circle jerk fest.

He played so fucking bad, JOHN FOX benched him. No, that is not a typo. John Fox benched Jake Delhomme. This is that same player Fox really wanted to come back, even after the Arizona meltdown. This is the same guy Marty Hurney gladly handed over the keys for, at a maximum, 5 years more, and made him at least 25 million dollars richer. Hmmm, at least it's a good pension for him in case he's shamed so much he decides to retire by week 3.

Once again he exceeds my expectations of him failing by getting benched in the third quarter, of the first game. Not week 8, not week 12, not week 4. No, the first fucking game of the regular season. And the funniest part is John Fox will start him against Atlanta next week. So at what point does Jake start throwing for negative yardage and double digit interceptions?

It's another Delhomme meltdown, and i can't even get on the fucking Carolinahuddle. That website just shit it's intestines out again over this. My forecast is that it will happen much more this season, after the awful display we saw.

So lets check the blogs and newsreels...

From the Observer...

Quarterback Jake Delhomme picked up right where he left off against the Cardinals, throwing four interceptions and fumbling once before coach John Fox mercifully pulled him from the game with 4 minutes, 24 seconds left in the third quarter.

Josh McCown replaced Delhomme, but went down hard on a sack early in the fourth period and hobbled off the field with a knee injury as No. 3 quarterback Matt Moore took over.

Yea, Jake may be increasingly erratic, but his underlings are no better, possibly worse. See this is what happens when you don't try to solidify the QB position. McCown is awful himself and I don't see any future in Matt Moore unless it involves bussing tables. He will get plenty of playing time this season, and it will show that he is not an NFL QB. Our future QB is not on the roster, so you know what that means, it's going to be a lousy 2009 season, full of excuses, cop outs and more excuses. So in other words it's just like any of the losing seasons we've had under Fox.

From the Herald...

Backup QB Josh McCown is warming up on the sidelines, making it appear Jake Delhomme's day is over.

This one's not quite as bad as the playoff loss for Delhomme, but it's close.

He's 7-for-17 for 73 yards, four interceptions and a fumble. That's a 14.7 rating.

He got a stray late touchdown in the playoff game, and that's not happening today.

Going to be an interesting locker room.

Hmmm, Shitdick Darin hasn't eaten his words just yet. Remember his musing trying to talk down to the "Lunatic Fringe" as he put it, thinking he was a smart, grounded fan? Yea, I'll keep my eyes open just in case the Kool Aid man decides to go back on what he said.

Panthers the Perfect storm for Jake Delhomme?

Well, I certainly seem to think so.

Case scenario, Delhomme finds himself a free agent. He's 34, he has big game experience, he's efficient in the 4th Quarter. But does that mean he'd automatically start on at least half the other teams? It is a myth among Panther fans, since Delhomme is truly overrated in Panther Nation.

With 31 other candidates, let's weed out the OBVIOUS eliminations...

New England (Tom Brady: 'nuff said)
Pittsburgh (Ben Roethlisberger: 2X SB winning QB)
Chicago (Jay Cutler: They just procured a prolific passer, like they would let him rot on the bench)
New Orleans (Drew Brees: Mr. 5000 passing yards)
Green Bay (Aaron Rodgers: 90+ QB rating)
Philadelphia (Donovan McNabb)
Indianapolis (Peyton Manning)
Atlanta (Matt Ryan)
Arizona (Kurt Warner: If they're looking for a long term future at QB, they're not going to replace a late 30s QB with a mid 30s QB. Delhomme would just be a stop gap)
New York Giants: (Eli Manning: SB MVP QB)
Cincinnati (Carson Palmer)
Baltimore (Joe Flacco: Rookie threw for 60% and nearly 3000 yards in just his rookie season)
Kansas City (Matt Cassel is Pioli's boy)
Oakland (Jamarcus Russell and Jeff Garcia. No I don't think they would be interested)
Redskins (Jason Campbell: Delhomme wouldn't be much of an improvement, so not worth the risk of dropping a guy who has years left in his tank)
Cowboys (Tony Romo: It's the Romo show there)
Houston (Matt Schaub: one of the strongest elements on their team)
San Diego (Philip Rivers: Not going anywhere)

Ok so far that's 18 teams out of the way. 13 left.

Seattle
Tampa Bay
Cleveland
NY Jets
Buffalo
Miami
St Louis
Jacksonville
Tennessee
Denver
Detroit
Minnesota
San Francisco

Mmmkay, now out of all of those, lets drop the teams that use the West Coast offense. Jake is not a West Coast QB, and what fucking team in their right mind would start a newly acquired QB who is in his mid-30s and has only one playbook ingrained in his head? He just wouldn't be efficient as a WC QB, he needs a solid running game.

Minnesota
Seattle
Tampa Bay
St Louis

So who's left?

Cleveland
NY Jets
Jacksonville
Denver
Detroit
San Francisco
Buffalo
Tennessee
Miami

Time to nitpick

As far as Buffalo is concerned, Trent Edwards looks like their guy. Delhomme would only come in to back him up and Trent would have to suck in order to get benched. In Miami, you would think he would fit in, because Dan Henning runs the offense there and we now ole' Dan very well. However, the "veteran" role is filled with Chad Pennington, and Chad Henne is the future. The Dolphins braintrust also has declared Pennington the starter for the 2009 season. So he wouldn't just walk in and take the job. In Cleveland, Brady Quinn has been waiting in the wings for his opportunity to arrive, it's mainly between him and Derek Anderson. For Jacksonville, it could be a QB battle but Delhomme is not a clear favorite over David Garrard, a guy who knows the playbook in Jacksonville. Kerry Collins pretty much did the same thing Delhomme did so I don't know why they would bring 2 of the same type QBs for one to back up the other, by the time Collins' starting at QB ends Delhomme would probably be too old anyway.

Denver
Detroit
San Fran
NY Jets

These are pretty much the only teams he'd have a very good chance of starting right off the bat. 2 of them, NY and Detroit, just drafted QBs first round, however, most teams will bench their rookie QBs in favor of seasoned veterans while the young one digests the playbook and refines his game behind the curtains. San Francisco has a terrible QB situation. Alex Smith has pretty much proven himself a bust and there is no one head and shoulders above the rest of them to step up. And Denver, well, Kyle Orton is not exactly a gleaming vote of confidence anyway you look at it.

Quick review: Delhomme is pretty fucking lucky to have a team like the Panthers put up with the bullshit sometimes. He's a good QB for here but that doesn't mean he'll just walk into any team and tear shit up day one like people think. There are a lot of factors to take in, notice any of Jake's "real" competition against Denver, Detroit, and NY will also have been newcomers to the team (Orton, Stafford, Sanchez, respectively). As far as SF is concerned, their QB situation is just so atrocious. Any other team he walks in he'd have the disadvantage of not knowing the playbook as thoroughly as his competition.

DeAngelo Williams on Delhomme

Stumbled across this post right here.

Running back DeAngelo Williams defended the organization's decision to give starting quarterback Jake Delhomme a five-year, $42.5 million contract extension this off-season.

"We love Jake," Williams said. "That’s our quarterback. Contrary to what fans believe, or those non-fans that call themselves fans, Jake’s a great quarterback. He knows this system inside out."

Well it's nonetheless an emotionally charged endorsement for Delhomme, but DeAngelo proves himself a class act here. Whether or not I'm a fan of paying a guy who didn't play like 42 million dollars last year by a longshot, Williams is just a teammate and a contributor. It's his obligation to have faith in Delhomme, otherwise, he'd be just another selfish Terrell Owens.

That said, Delhomme's far from a great quarterback, and he's been put on a golden throne by the Panthers' organization as some kind of demigod with Joe Everyman-level QB talent. So it will be up to Williams to score like 25 touchdowns and rush for 1800 yards, <------while splitting time with Jonathan Stewart who scores 15 in addition and 1200 more rushing yards, to be the breadwinners for the offense. Delhomme's just a QB who, considering all 17 games the Panthers played last year that mattered, averaged more interceptions than touchdowns, had a sub 60% completion percentage, and a 79.6 QB rating. <----not exactly glaring characteristics of a great QB.

"Every guy has a bad game at some point in his career," Williams said. "Unfortunately for him it happened that game. But he’s a great quarterback. It happened to us. I know I'm going to have a bad game one of these times and they’ll be calling after my head."

^DeAngelo, you're a running back. You actually do your job and are one of the best at what you do. You led the entire league in TDs IIRC last year. You are not the object of any kind of criticism and I remember for two years wishing John Fox would have a fucking epiphany out there on the sidelines during a game and give you more playing time because DeShaun "a feather could tackle me" Foster was like the RB version of Delhomme. So keep up the good work you're doing and kick some ass because if we make playoffs this year, I can guaran-damn-tee you will be a BIG reason why if you aren't injured.

Reality Check for Panthers fans (Re: Media "Respect" Level)

It seems to me there's this common feeling in the Panthers fanbase that is entirely sold on the hypothesis that our success is contingent on how many minutes ESPN spends sucking our dick comparative to sucking the Cowboys or Steelers.

The metric they usually use for this is the "radar". Apparently if we are "under" the "radar", Delhomme will throw 3 touchdowns a game, John Fox will use his brains when he gameplans every week, DeAngelo Williams will get through the front seven every single running play, and the teams we face will forget we are on the schedule, causing for a very unprepared performance against us because they didn't know the Carolina Panthers existed prior to the day they played us, because they watched ESPN and Mike Tirico didn't mention us at all as a contender on MNF.

In contrast, if we are "on" the "radar", Jake Delhomme will turn into an unresponsive shell of himself and throw dead ducks and passes that are so inaccurate you are sitting on your couch ready to fair catch the fucking ball because it seemed for a second there it was going to you through the fucking TV screen. John Fox will forgo the weekly film sessions, instead flying to Nevada and soliciting transvestite prostitutes on the Las Vegas Strip. DeAngelo Williams will lose his sense of motivation and spend most of his time eating Kentucky Fried Chicken so he can balloon up and become King Kong Bundy fat. The teams we are facing will also know exactly what we are doing and when we are doing it, because Mike Tirico said "watch out for those Panthers they are going to be good this year".

Too many times I'm reading a Panther fan comment that is something along the lines of this...
"I liek teh fact that we ar undurr teh radar. becuz we play our best football wen teams don't know who we arrr. now taht teh media is disrispectin us we shud win the 13 gamez we arn't playing prime time."

"OMFG i cant beleev dat ESPN ranked us 16th in the power rankings that is such a spit in teh face! Now DeAngelo's gonna run harder cuz dey said his teem wouldn't doo good and muh Panthers ar gonna whip sum ass"

^It's crap like this that gets posted that makes me almost lose complete faith in the ability of our fanbase to become anything more than a group of people with retarded superstitions and these baseless intuitions that gained ground all the way back in 2003 when nobody was talking about us and that the idea that we started blazing trails was a direct result of our being "under" the "radar".

It's this fucking illusion that people have convinced themselves THE ONLY way this franchise can gain success is if Tony Kornheiser says we're not anything to worry about on PTI, or we have little or no nationally televised and/or primetime games to play on our schedule.

...as much as I despise some of Fox's quirks (there are a lot of them), I still harbor a lot of good vibes and optimism for the guy. I never would expect him to believe for one minute that we're a slave to the media attention level we get or how many primetime games we're playing. However, if he actually does, that's how I'll know there is absolutely no chance for him to coach the Panthers to a superbowl championship, because, every single playoff game is a primetime and/or nationally televised football matchup, where you are recognized as a good team and people see you're a serious football club. And that's when I've lost absolutely all hope for the coaching staff and not the least bit open-minded to the thought of a future with John Fox as the coach.

Return of the Kool Aid man.

Stop the presses



Panthers resident Kool Aid man and beat writer Gantt has awakened from his slumber to offer another tall order of monkey crap and pro-Fox fluff.

What do you have to say?

First things first, I haven't been fired, or left for greener pastures (as if that's possible). Just took some time off, at a time when not much is happening. Of course, that came at the expense of turning into a contractor/landscaper for a week or so, but hey, the place looks better.

Oh no we all knew EXACTLY where you were all this time. On vacation, that's good. ...See this is why I don't really respect these Carolina writers all that much. In New York sports journalists don't get to take prolonged haitus from writing short posts just because there's "nothing going on". Giant's beat writer Ralph Vacchiano even has a fucking TWITTER set up! The Panthers' writers, on the other hand, get weeks, months off to do whatever the fuck just because John Fox burns pictures of Saints in the hands of newly hired organization executives so nobody knows we talked to a fucking practice squad WR until they cut a deal.

Maybe it's that New York attitude of the unquentiable pursuit of career advancement. Or maybe it's the fact that the further and further south you go, the more people become kinda.... slower. Me, I could drive 70 miles down to South Jersey and people there can't keep the fucking pace up with me.

And in reality, there's not much going on right now. There's a lull between the draft and June OTAs (which start May 27), but there are a few odds and ends to address:

-- Peter King ranks the Panthers 18th in offseason power poll

Frankly, this borders on asinine. I'm not saying the Panthers are a top five team going into 2009 (their history points to bad luck and 7-9 after a good season), but to say they're in the bottom half of the league doesn't make sense.

Really, Darin? How fucking petty can we Panthers fans be? Who gives a fuck what Peter King has to say? We're getting pissed because an ESPN writer ranked a small market team in the lower half of the league? I hope you realize that we've followed up every single season we've made the playoffs thus far in franchise history with a .500 or below record the next year. So don't get all pissy at the guy because Carolina's not his favorite team and that history agrees with him and,... who gives a fuck? Seriously Darin if this is all you had to write about you could've stayed on vacation.

-- Mike Minter mulls run for Congress

The former Panthers safety is kicking around the idea of becoming a public servant.

Is this really breaking news?

Minter's as forthright as any player I've covered. He could have hung on in 2007, and collected checks, and been beloved as a player. But his knees were shot, he knew it, and he wasn't able to do his job. He's also a man of principle, who agonized over an early free agent decision, coming within hours of boarding a plane for Cleveland and more money to stay where he started.

Lol. Minter had many good years in a Panthers uniform, but alas, he aged and couldn't play anymore. ...just like every other player. He actually made a good decision for the Panthers as well as himself. His retirement led to the acquisition of Chris Harris for penny candy in order to fortify Safety.

They repaid the favor later, hanging onto him past his expiration date as an impact player. Professional teams don't extend that courtesy to many, but Minter deserved it.

Nice, so we sacrificed talent replenishment, <=== a characteristic of good football team management, and suffered through the inadequacy of an aging, past-his-prime player because we owed it to Minter? Are you fucking kidding me? We might as well give him a plaque on the front door and a pension while we're at it. Gantt this isn't a fucking GM manufacturing plant this is the fucking gridiron. The more we put these players on a pedestal and make decisions in the best interest of them, instead of the team, the longer we are going to go nowhere.

(Although, I am intrigued at Jason Taylor signing a cut-rate deal with Miami, not New England. The Pats would love to have Peppers, but it sounds like they're struggling with the two-pronged compensation required to get him. Know this, they're lurking.)

Okay, first of all, New England does NOT need Julius Peppers by any stretch of the imagination. Their defense is well-talented and well-coached, they have no room for a spoiled crybaby prima donna defensive end who wants to play in a position where he doesn't have much of an assignment to take on blockers so he can roam free because he's pretty much all brute force and little technique to beat LTs which is why he is so hot and cold on the field.

Second of all, do you know what Kraft and Belichick will do to get Peppers? They will fucking rip Hurney off if they wanted to. I don't want to see the Patriots trading with us because they are some conniving cunning bastards, ...and they're good because of the way they do business.

Otherwise, if anybody wants to come help pull weeds and rocks out of the garden, let me know.

Ugh.

Panther Excuses: 2009 edition

in the event of a failed effort in the 2009 season, say for example, another 7-9 record or worse, the following are the excuses you're likely to hear.

It is what it is

The other team practices too

we picked a bad day to have a bad day

he didn't play well but it was only one game

...kind of the same retread we go through loss after loss year by year. Panther Journalists, beat writers, and self proclaimed "real" fans might be bought off by those shit copouts but the realest most down to earth Pantherites won't. It's clear Fox has wooed many supporters just based on his aloofness and good ole boy charm. He's almost like a cartoon character, quirky in many ways, but that's what people like about him. ...This is the same reason people like Jake Delhomme and will forget every single game he makes awful throws and turns the ball over more than once just because his personality is great and that's good enough for them.